


Like Night Follows Day

by AetherLocket



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Arson, Character Death, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Graphic Description, Kidnapping, Mild Smut, Multiple Endings, Non-Graphic Smut, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Violence, Yandere Oikawa Tooru, no beta we die like daichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24184933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherLocket/pseuds/AetherLocket
Summary: [Yandere Oikawa Tōru x Reader]On the outside, he was just a normal boy until he was smashed in the face by a volleyball that you had smacked.You were just another girl- so why was he so angry when you rejected him?His past had caught up to him. He vowed to protect you no matter how many times you said no to him. And once he finally got you, he realized how much you meant to him.He realized that he has to make sure no one will hurt you. Not your abusive parents, or those nasty men eyeing you, or you might choose them over him.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime & Reader, Matsukawa Issei & Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/You
Comments: 50
Kudos: 157





	1. An Accident

**Author's Note:**

> I’m excited to finally write for Haikyuu!! 
> 
> Beware of the warnings in the tags. If a new one is added with the release of a new chapter, I’ll state it in the beginning. 
> 
> Also it takes bit for this to go into full batshit mode so- savor (kinda) sane Oikawa while you can-
> 
> Enjoy Oikawa's manipulative and crazy (flat) ass, with frequent updates to boot~

Oikawa didn't expect to get his 'perfect nose' bashed in by a volleyball when he walked into the gym.

When he laid his head back down, gripped his aching nose and looked for the culprit (whom he was ready to strangle... unless it was Iwa-chan. He'd probably just throw another one at him if he complained), he was met with a girl who looked like she had just witnessed a ghost pass her by.

You frantically ran over to him with a tissue, almost tripping over yourself. "Oh jeez- I'm sorry, that's my bad! Take this-"

"It's fine," Oikawa chuckled and placed a hand on your shoulder, holding the tissue to his nose. "As long as you didn't break my beautiful nose, we're fine."

You didn't know what to say to that.. at all.

"[F/N]- what did you do?!" Matsukawa exclaimed from the other side of the gym, rushing over.

"Nothing!" you called back. "Sorry," you repeated to Oikawa with a sheepish smile and turned to meet Matsukawa's glare.

"Who is this little cutie Matsun?" Oikawa teased.

Matsun?

"My underclassman friend," Matsukawa said. "She wanted to join practice."

"Well, she has potential. That spike; she could've really broken my nose!" Oikawa laughed and threw away the bloody tissue.

"Sorry," you repeated in a whisper.

"It was an accident," Matsukawa grumbled and pulled you away from him. "C'mon, practice is almost over. Why were you late Oikawa?"

"Got held up by a group of girls," Oikawa said.

Oh, so he's one of those.

"I feel so sorry for you," Matsukawa replied.

You couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, uh, Matsukawa. Thanks for letting me practice with you guys."

"You said that already. Now come, I need to receive a spike from you before the day I die." Matsukawa glared at you as you chuckled.

"Is she too good for you?" Oikawa asked. "I can see it."

"No! They just like, always fly away from my arm. It's annoying."

"I'm telling you, it's just a fluke... that I consistently do," you insisted.

"Well, it's hurting my feelings."

* * *

After practice, Oikawa had succeeded in amazing you with his powerful serve. You hadn't managed to receive a single one. You only played as a setter in middle school, so you weren't all that prepared for the force he brought with each serve.

"This is almost too easy!" He boasted at the end of the match with an obnoxious laugh.

"Knock it off, Shittykawa. Just because this inexperienced player can't receive your serve, doesn't mean that you're good."

"But-!"

"You are good, Oikawa. More like amazing, actually," you tell him the truth. "Even if I played as a libero or something, I don't think I'd be able to receive your serves consistently unless I practice every day of the week."

Iwaizumi huffed. Hanamaki, another third year player, chuckled.

Oikawa watched your lips curve up into a smile, then he gripped his chest. That one compliment got him going way too much for his liking, it caught him completely off guard.

"I get that a lot," he simply said with a confident smile and began to hum to himself as he began to pack away the equipment.

You stared at him with a neutral expression and Iwaizumi, whom you had only met a few hours ago through your old friend Matsukawa, shook his head. "Don't worry about that dumbass, really."

"I just feel bad for hitting him in the face with a volleyball. It looked painful."

"He's been hit with worse," Iwaizumi said. "Anyways, Matsukawa's waiting outside for you."

You stretched and looked out the window. It was so dark and you realized how long you had stayed practicing with these guys, and it only felt like ten minutes. Well, better than doing nothing at home all day, right?

It had even begun to rain. Unfortunate, considering that you didn't bring a coat.

"What are you waiting for [F/N]-chan?" Oikawa sang and threw an arm around you. "Oh, do you not have a coat? Take mine." He took your hand and placed his coat in it.

"I- it's fine, you don't have to give me yours-" you stammered, a little put off by the use of your first name and friendly honorific. You assumed that he's the type to decide who he's friends with.

"Please, take it."

"Thank you..." You reluctantly decided to accept it.

Better than getting a cold. Even though you knew Matsukawa better, he would've left you wet and shivering outside without a care in the world (and with a smug smirk.)

It smelled like cologne. You felt your face get red. A man's jacket. It felt so weird, solely because it wasn't Matsukawa and he happened to be hot and popular. You were quite ashamed of yourself for thinking such things.

You knew who Oikawa was just because girls in your class were always talking about him. How good he'd be in bed, how well they'd treat him, how hot he is, etc... it was exhausting. His personality seemed to match the reputation he was given; an obnoxious fuckboy.

You knew plenty of girls have probably been inside of his jacket, so you didn't think much about it.

You went with the boys as they walked home.  
Of course, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki left on their own separate ways, leaving you and Oikawa alone. Usually, you'd be completely alone, so maybe this won't be too bad.

Before Hanamaki in particular left, he turned back and was seemingly surprised to see Oikawa still walking with you. He gave the teenager a quizzical look and Oikawa put a finger to his lips.

You didn't think much about it.

"So-" Oikawa began as the other boys were out of the picture.

"If it's about the ball again, I'm really sorry-"

"Well, I guess you could say it's about the ball.." His tone lowered.

"Does it still hurt?" you asked in concern.

Oikawa thought for a moment then gripped his bruised nose, feigning pain. "Ah, just a bit.. but don't worry. I know a way you can make it up to me!"

"I can't pay for a nose job-"

"You know what the next best thing is? A date."

You stared at him. This is a dream, right? Or does he just want to add a second year to his list of easy-to-get-into-bed girls?

"Uh, sorry but.."

You didn't finish the sentence, hoping that he got the hint. You weren't exactly ready for a date with a guy you met an hour ago, and especially one that has a fan club.

When Oikawa heard that leave your mouth and the frown that soon came after, he sat there silent.

Needless to say he, wasn't... shocked. Not exactly.

He's been quite selective when it comes to the girls he choosing to ask out, and so far, none of them have ever rejected him. The one that do accept usually are the ones to dump him, but that doesn't really matter to him, as there probably wasn't any chemistry or future in the relationship anyways.

But still, this didn't shock him. He was just... angry. He was beyond furious.

That's when he realized something was wrong with him.


	2. Chocolates

He never thought that he'd be angry a girl for rejecting him. But this one in particular had him fuming. He wondered if you liked Matsukawa instead, or maybe Iwaizumi. But over him? No way. Was there something wrong with him?

He may have been livid, but at the same time, he wanted to respect your choice and keep you safe from anyone who'd want to hurt you.

That's it! Oikawa just has to prove that he's good enough for you, or at least, that no one else is good enough for you.

* * *

Oikawa replied playfully with a grin, a wink and a light tease at the end, suggesting that he might ask again in the future, thankfully keeping his cool. Then, he left you alone.

Matsukawa had texted Oikawa, asking him if he had made a move. After all, Oikawa walked a mile past his own house just to be alone with you.

Oikawa didn't want to reply at first. You were apparently closest to Matsukawa. That fact made him uncomfortable.

So he just sent a heart emoji. That's good enough. Maybe Matsukawa will back off and understand that you're his prize now.

Oikawa looked through Matsukawa's social media, looking for any profile you might have.

One of Matsukawa's follwers had your first name hidden in the username with an endearing pun. He could see you [H/C] hair and unmistakable [E/C] eyes in the profile picture. He wished you had shown your entire face, but it was more than enough for him to identify you.

He was about to request a follow, but he realized that you might be uncomfortable if the guy you just rejected wanted to look through your private social media profile.

So he used an old profile he had as kid (it took him an hour to guess the password) and deleted all identifying info. All that was left was edgy poetry quotes and aesthetics. He posted some new ones as well.

It took you an hour, but you accepted the request, viewing it as an innocent angsty teenager page. Oikawa smiled to himself. So easy.

He mocked you internally for being naive, but if you hadn't accepted, he'd be pretty damn angry and confused.

He began to ask himself if this was OK. And he told himself: Yeah, why the hell wouldn't it be? I'm just chasing a girl I want. Making her realize that we'd be perfect together over time.

A week passed and he didn't see you once, which was understandable because you were a second-year while Oikawa was a third-year... he had to settle for the weird pictures you posted online, most of them not even containing yourself in them. He did find himself laughing at some of your posts, though.

He found a lot of teenage guys in your followers list. He wondered how many of them were messaging you, asking for a date. He found himself clenching his phone so tight that it might've burst.

On the flip side, he found a relative in your followers list, which led to a huge jackpot.

Thankfully, their profile was wide open for him to see. Right there in front of him was all kinds of pictures containing you, from you in your pajamas, in a fancy dress, in a suit, in a sexy costume...

He asked himself if he was wrong for using these pictures to help relieve himself.

He came to the conclusion that it wasn't. Of course not. Straight men love women, there's nothing wrong with that. And he was a teenager! Everyone does this.

He soon wasn't satisfied with only these pictures. He spent too much time imagining how you would feel under him, and realized that the only way to see you again in person was to speak to Matsukawa, the male you were closest to, which was something he wasn't looking forward to.

* * *

After volleyball practice, Oikawa casually asked Matsukawa if the cute girl he had brought would be coming back anytime soon.

The guys didn't see anything wrong with this; they all know Oikawa is a ladies man, but something about him chasing her seemed off to them. She should be chasing him, right?

Matsukawa threw a ball back to Iwaizumi. "Oh, uh- it was a one time thing. She said she really needs to get her grades up so she can't keep coming back here. Her parents are strict about it or something." He walked past the brown-haired boy.

Oikawa frowned. He wouldn't see you again? Until you got your grades up? He knows how long it can take to satisfy strict parents...

It could take a week or months.

No. It's too long.

Can't wait anymore.

"Would she be willing to have a tutor by any chance?"

Matsukawa shrugged. "Dunno.. oh, you mean.. you want to tutor her?" Oikawa had all A's, so it made sense for him to tutor someone.  
"You really trying this hard for a second year?"

"What- you planning to keep her for yourself?"

Matsukawa narrowed his eyes. "Didn't you guys already hook up? I can't really keep her, as you say."

Oikawa didn't answer the question. "So you like her too?"

"Well, I wouldn't say no if she jumped on me. But I won't go chasing her or anything. I see her as a friend."

Oikawa hummed in thought. He was going to ask Matsukawa if he could ask you if you wanted a tutor, but then Matsukawa would know that you hadn't hooked up with Oikawa.

He wanted to keep up the illusion, hoping that you wouldn't reveal it yourself. Even if you did, Oikawa never explicitly stated that the two of you had hooked up, so there was no risk for him there.

Matsukawa thinking that the two of you hooked up kept him in check for now. Perfect.

And so Oikawa decided that he'll have to find you near the second-year classrooms himself.

* * *

The second year girls were pleasantly surprised to see Oikawa waiting outside their classroom. He had looked in through every door, looking for your [H/C] hair and perfect [E/C] eyes. He could spot you from a mile away, especially after all of that studying he did. And when he did, he almost burst in right there, but he knew that he had to wait. Of course your teacher had to keep you guys waiting a bit longer before lunch... for some reason.

You walked out last, unsuspecting with earbuds hidden in your hoodie. The girls in your class were mumbling about something.

"You alright guys-? Oh, hi."

Oikawa waved. "Yaho! [F/N]-chan, can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Uh, sure, why not." You went to his side and he put an arm on your shoulder, ignoring the other girls watching. Their stares made you feel so small and helpless.

"Don't worry about them," Oikawa assured you.

"T-Thanks. Oh, uh, I was actually gonna go looking for you at lunch for something.."

"Oh?"

You held out a box of milk chocolates; the expensive kind. "I know it doesn't equate to what happened, but I'm really sorry for hitting you in the face.. and uh, since I said no to the date, I felt like getting something-"

He found your rambling cute. The cutest thing ever. He wanted to hear your voice more but you trailed off.

"[F/N], you are the absolute best!"

He meant it. He fell deeper for you and he realized that he wanted you to be by his side no matter what. He'd keep going after you no matter how many times you rejected him, though he had a feeling that you were already falling for him. And if not, he'd find out why you're so hesitant to date guys and win your heart anyways.

And if it turns out that you really won't ever give him a chance.. he had to make a Plan B.

He pulled you into a hug. You internally screeched. Does he not care about the girls watching? He must've noticed your discomfort because he glared at them and pulled you to the stairs, eating one of the chocolates down to the next empty floor.

"I'm glad that you like them," you said lowly.

"They taste like heaven!" Oikawa sang. After eating three, he covered the box again. "If I eat them all at once though, I won't be able to keep my amazing figure."

You couldn't help but laugh. He smiled; you didn't deny that he had a nice figure. Well, you also didn't deny that he had a 'perfect nose.'

"Right, right. So why did you come looking for me?"

"Oh, right." He cleared his throat. "Matsun mentioned that you couldn't come to see us very often because of your grades-"

"That asshole!"

Of course, Oikawa wouldn't mention that he was the one to ask about it. "Maybe so. But I'm dying to see you more, how about I tutor you?"

You had to think about it. You knew Oikawa was at the top of his class and was definitely capable of getting you higher grades, but is it really smart to get close to such a guy? Especially since you just rejected him? Maybe he just wanted to build a friendship before asking you out again?

You weren't opposed to the idea and didn't see a reason to refuse. He doesn't seem to be the player that you assumed. He seemed like a nice guy, just a little over-the-top sometimes. There's no reason not to give him a chance later one

"You would do that?"

"Of course! I get to see you more, so it's a win-win situation."

You couldn't help but blush. Why's this guy so set on you? You didn't think you were anyone special and never heard of him going after a girl this hard.

"Then uh- sure! I don't see why not. I really do want to see you guys more often."

"It's settled, then." Oikawa leaned in to whisper in your ear. "How about my place tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah- sure." You tried not to stammer, so focused on not looking nervous that you hadn't even comprehended what you just accepted.

You didn't want him to realize that you're so inexperienced that the slightest touch with a guy would make you go crazy.

Oikawa already noticed, though.


	3. Tutoring

Oikawa guessed that you've probably never had a serious relationship before. Maybe you were hurt in the past. Whatever it might be, he was going to find out.

The next day, you had a few of your classmates ask about what Oikawa had said to you. You just shrugged them off despite their constant asking.

"[F/N]! Sit with us at lunch today," Matsukawa commanded, somehow in front of your classroom right after fourth period.

You lowered your plate of food. "But I-"

"You usually sit with a bunch of girls that don't even know your name. Just come with your actual friends for once."

You sighed, defeated. You followed him to his table where Hanamaki and Iwaizumi from practice were waiting.

"Oh, it's you!" Hanamaki pointed.

Iwaizumi smiled softly at your frantic wave.

"He forced me," you explained. "Don't worry, I won't bother you guys."

"We bother each other all day, it's nothing new," Matsukawa said, ruffling your hair.

You growled at him as he laughed at the nest he created.

You slowly ate the mediocre school food, wanting an excuse to stay quiet as the boys made jokes and laughed, completely ignoring their own food.

Once they saw that you had finished your food, Matsukawa immediately began speaking to you.

"So, how are things going with Oikawa?"

Iwaizumi huffed and Hanamaki leaned in a bit to hear with a smirk.

"Uh, well, it's ok?" You wiped your hands with a napkin. "He's gonna tutor me so I can get higher grades.. then I'll be able to see you guys at practice more, so that's cool."

"And you're just gonna skip over the hook up part?" Hanamaki asked.

"Hook up?" You blinked. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

They all looked at each other. "Wait, Oikawa lied about hooking up with someone?" Hanamaki chuckled nervously.

You clenched your fists on the edge of the table. "He said what?"

"Well, he didn't actually say it, but he didn't exactly deny it when I asked either," Matsukawa said.

Exactly what Oikawa was waiting for.

"He just asked me out, that's all!" you exclaimed. "I said no, but-"

"But you wouldn't be opposed to the idea if you got a bit closer?"

You sighed deeply. "His reputation is kind of.. concerning..."

"Oh please. The guy has a bunch of girls after him, but he doesn't just flip through them like a hobby. He's been single most of his life."

You hummed in thought. Maybe he wasn't the player you made him out to be. Maybe he didn't deserve the rejection..

"I thought he just asked me out to get in my pants and replace me with a prettier fan of his."

"He's not that much of a dumbass," Iwaizumi said.

"Besides, if he did that shit, he'd have something coming to him."

You laughed. Maybe you could get used to this. And maybe you can give Oikawa a chance... if you could overlook the fact that he didn't deny the hook up allegation.

Speaking of, where was Oikawa?

* * *

The setter saw you laughing with Matsukawa, Iwaizumi and Hanamaki... nothing he couldn't brush off.

Instead of heading over to the table straight away, he stood breathing a bit heavily in the bathroom stall. He couldn't mess this up.

Just a few more chances to get you to like him (or, in his mind, accept that you already do like him) and he's all set.

Tonight, at his house, he'd have you.

Oikawa got himself together and ran over to the lunch table. He sat next to you and threw an arm around you. "Hello [F/N]-chan."

"Wow. Just gonna ignore us?" Hanamaki sneered.

You rolled your eyes and pushed Oikawa off of you, trying to be as subtle as possible.

"So mean!" Oikawa cried.

Oikawa took the spotlight for the rest of the lunch period, taking all of your attention with witty jokes and flirting.

After your last period, he was waiting outside your classroom again. Go figure. He already had your jacket from your locker and handed it to you with a smile.

"You.. knew my combination?"

"Huh? Oh no, I noticed that it was open when I passed by. Looks like you need to be more careful, [F/N]-chan."

He lied through his (admittedly white and perfect) teeth. He knew a lot of things about you already. Your locker combination wasn't that hard to find out. All it took was a quick look in your bag during lunch when you weren't looking.

"Ah, thanks! I should've been careful..."

His smile made it so that you didn't even doubt him. He just made you believe whatever he said.

He loved that feeling.

Matsukawa narrowed his eyes at you and Oikawa prancing off together. Hanamaki tugged his arm and whispered something to him.

"See you tomorrow, [F/N]," Matsukawa said.

You waved at him a little too long and Oikawa gripped your shoulder. "Shall we go now?"

"Y-Yeah. Sure," you replied with haste. You had to admit, it felt nice being around Oikawa and having his attention on you. Feeling wanted was something you always... wanted.

Oikawa couldn't contain his grin as he led you to his house. This was it. He'd have you right then and there if he could, but he reminded himself that he had to earn your trust.

He led you inside.

You were in his house.

He could barely keep himself together as you looked around. This was the first step towards getting you to accept him.

Oikawa introduced you to his kind mother who gave you guys some snacks to eat as you studied.

He led you to his bedroom and smirked as he shut the door. He already won over Matsukawa a while ago, but this sealed the deal. He found himself staring at the door, holding the knob as he grinned.

"Your room is so neat," you marveled.

He snapped out of it. "Why thank you," he said and walked over to his bed. "You can some sit here."

He eyed the folder containing printed photos of you placed neatly on his desk. He couldn't wait to look at them later.

You followed him, sitting a bit stiffly on his bed.

"Don't be nervous; this is just a tutoring session!"

"Y-yeah, I got it."

He wished that it wasn't. But he knew it'll pay off as long as you could come to practice more often, and you'll trust him.

The actual tutoring didn't last long. Oikawa convinced you after a few problems that you were perfectly fine and that you'll do amazing on the next exam.

You really did feel smarter after going over some difficult equations and hard to analyze passages with him. It's like he memorized everything he was going to say before the tutoring session.

He wished that you wore a more revealing shirt under your school blouse, but at the same time, he was ready to be rewarded with all of your glory once you're his. It'll be the ultimate prize to see your perfect skin.

After you answered ten equations you struggled with in the past, Oikawa congratulated you with some take out food and a movie of your choice.

The arm he laid around you felt disturbingly natural. When he first did it, you just snuggled into him as if it was a regular occurrence. Then you realized and hid your face in his chest. He didn't watch the movie at all.

When it was over, you hadn't even realized how late it got.

"My mom's gonna kill me.." you sobbed dramatically.

He laughed and helped you gather your things. He didn't want you to go. He didn't know what to do to get you to stay.

When Oikawa saw your innocent smile and then down at your body, he abandoned his plan. He couldn't take it anymore.

You watched Oikawa leaned forward, and he placed a hand on the back of your neck, and you knew what was coming. He pushed you towards him, resulting in a soft kiss in which you had no idea where to put your hands or what to think or if you should kiss back or if this is even right-

Too fast. You didn't know what to think.

But it felt good.

Ah, oh well.

Nice guy, no obvious red flags, really nice lips... you could get used to this.

Your reason for rejecting him was his reputation, which was proved wrong by his best friends, and now that you knew each other a little better...

What's the harm in this?

You'll have to thank Matsukawa later for inviting you to practice. Who would've thought that your first boyfriend was going to be the most sought after guy in school (who also happens to be a third year)?

He's been imagining you under him every hour of the week, and now, you're actually writhing under him and all red and embarrassed.

It was perfection. He didn't want to let this go, not ever. And if anyone threatened to do that, he doesn't know what he would do to prevent that from happening.


	4. The Beginning

It's been a few weeks since you began dating Oikawa and your life has never been better.

"He's never been this... obsessed with someone," Hanamaki marveled. "The very few times he's had a girlfriend, they were just kinda.. there. But Oikawa's spoiling the shit out of you."

You couldn't contain your blush. "Ah, that's.. reassuring."

He's been the best sweetheart ever. Buying you gifts, taking you on dates after practice.. the kisses you've shared were all ones that you won't forget. You're just a bit nervous for when Oikawa wants to go to the next level. But he doesn't seem to be rushing into it.

You went to Oikawa's home that night. With his parents away, the two of you could do whatever you wanted. Your parents were beginning to get suspicious, and Oikawa must've noticed your concern.

"Don't worry, [F/N]-chan," he said, pulling you in a hug from behind. He laid his chin on top of your head. "Your parents are powerless when it comes to keeping us apart."

"Well.. they might forbid me from going anywhere after school.." you mumble. "I'm sorry if that happens.. I'll try to reason with them-"

"As I said, they're powerless." He seemed to stare off into space. His eyes were kind of dull and his eyebrows were furrowed when you tilted your head up to look into them.

You nodded. "Let's hope."

Your hands that we're gripping his arms fell, and he loosened the hug, pushing you onto the couch. You laughed as he pulled you back into a cuddle.

He flicked your nose hard, and you yelped.

"That's my payback for the ball, by the way."

"You asshole," you whined and playfully hit him a few times. "But I deserved that."

He laid his head on you. It was rare for him to let go of his embrace around you. It began to feel suffocating at times, like he was glued to you.

"I love you."

What? It's only been a few weeks, and he's staying stuff like that? So much for not rushing things...

"Tōru-"

"Do you love me back?"

Did you? He was your first boyfriend and made you feel comfy and warm and wanted... you loved to be with him even when he was being overprotective.

"If you're not as sure as night follows day, then don't say it back to me."

You wanted to cry. He decided that he loved you and wanted to make sure that you were in love with him before you went too deep. He didn't hold back. You weren't sure if he was being a lovesick sweetheart or a little dramatic.

"I need some more time before I can.. say that. but I think I do, Tōru. I think.."

He smiled. That's it. He won. He wanted to squeeze you to death with the adrenaline he received.

Take that, Matsukawa. She will never love you. I took your best friend from you within a few weeks. She will never look your way. Never.

It was almost too easy. Too easy... he felt a bit unsettled. Now all he has to do is make sure that the only man you'll ever love is him.

He'd kill you and then himself before he'd let you be with another man.

The thought itself made him want to rip his hair out in frustration. The thought of losing to someone inferior to him in every way.. now he didn't have to worry about that, hopefully. He's earned your love.

Almost.

"You think? What makes you so hesitant?"

Tōru, you idiot. Just accept it.

No. She has to say, 'I love you with all of my heart, and will never love anyone else.'

"I just.. don't know what this feeling is. If it's really love or.. well, that's not the right way to say it. It's more like.. it's love, but it hasn't.. intensified fully just yet."

...Good enough.

He ran his fingers through your hair and nibbled on your earlobe. "Either way, you'll eventually be screaming about how much you love me."

* * *

Oikawa wanted to strangle your parents. They deprived him of time with you. Hasn't he gone through enough, goddamnit?!

He hated resorting to the printed pictures of you when a few minutes ago, he was holding the actual you in his arms. It was such a downgrade, but at the same time, you were still a perfect angel in those pictures, so he couldn't complain.

He never came down from the high he was in whenever he touched your skin. He gave him such an otherworldly feeling— where have you been all his life? To him, you are the key to true happiness, and he'll be damned if some overbearing parents are going to take that away from him.

But getting rid of them somehow would upset you, no matter how strict they are. So he took a deep breath and decided to put your happiness over his for the moment.

Oikawa saw you texting someone with a smile between class periods. He walked up behind you without drawing your attention. If the two of you were alone, he wouldn't be able to control himself. He'd probably feel bad for pinning you to the wall, taking your phone and demanding to know who has gotten so much of your attention.

Matsukawa. He was asking if you were going to practice again later, and you were mocking him for not having the patience to ask during lunch time instead.

Oikawa snatched your phone out of your hands, and before you could even react, he'd already texted Matsukawa with, 'No. I'm going with Tōru today,' wearing a sly smile on his face.

"Tōru! What are you doing?"

"Just letting Matsun know about our plans."

"Plans?"

Oikawa narrowed his eyes and pressed a few things on the screen. "Instead of going to practice.." He then placed your phone in his pocket and began to drag you to your next period (he memorized your schedule a long time ago). "You're going to be coming with me every day. It'll give us more time together, isn't that right?"

"But I like going to practice with you guys! And since when can you just skip on practice..?"

"I'll skip whenever I want if it's to spend time with you," he said. "And why do you insist on going to practice? Did someone else catch your eye-"

"Of course not!"

"Why are you getting so defensive?"

"Because that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say Tōru!"

Oikawa pursed his lips, sighing before speaking again. "You can't blame me. You're always around other men."

"And you're literally always around a bunch of your fan girls!"

"But I don't talk to them, they're not worth my time. You're always all giggles and touches with Matsukawa, Iwaizumi and Hanamaki.. even Kindaichi and Kyōtani sometimes. Drives me insane."

You'd never heard him refer to all of his friends by their full last names, so you knew he was serious. "Tōru, Matsukawa's been my friend for a while, and the rest, I know I can be comfortable with because they're friends with you too! There's no reason to be jealous-"

"Jealous..?" He laughed breathlessly. "No, I'm just trying to protect you. Any other guy would hurt you. I'm just trying to get you to realize that..."

What the hell was wrong with him?

You stared at the ground, standing in front of your next class. "Can I get my phone back now?"

Oikawa stared you down before shoving his hand inside his pocket and handing you your phone. "If you promise that you're loyal, then you'll have no problem with showing me your messages, right?"

You huffed. "Of course, because I'd never cheat on you. That's just ridiculous. But it's still disrespecting my privacy."

"I just need to make sure... You should understand." he said, lowering his gaze. He looked ready to hurt someone. Then he turned and walk away.

You stared at your phone, now with a lock screen of a posing Tōru, before smiling and shoving it into your pocket. "He must've been cheated on before.. yeah. I just need to prove to him that I'm not like that. I'll do what he says, then he'll trust me. He said he loves me... he's just scared."

After fourth period, he dragged you up to his empty third year classroom to eat. It's like he wanted you away from all other men... but if you can satisfy him and convince him that you're not a cheater, everything will turn out just fine, right?


	5. Naked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains smut and abuse but not very detailed. It’s for the plot I swear— This is also where the non-con elements step in. 
> 
> The violence and stuff is probably expected by now but I’d still feel really bad if I didn’t put a warning beforehand. So you’ll still see ‘em whenever it happens. Sorry not sorry

"Come over today."

He asked that the day before, and the day before... Pretty much every day. You barely had enough time to do your homework because he'd be all over you. You hadn't talked to Matsukawa or the others for a long time. Oikawa was the only male you were allowed to speak to, besides your father.

One day, you just couldn’t come over. Your parents demanded that you stop going places after school without them knowing.

Oikawa did not stop talking to you, even when you were apart. At first, it was calling, then, when you were supposed to be sleeping, he’d resort to texting you. If you didn’t reply within ten seconds, he’d begin to spam you. You weren’t allowed to sleep until he was tired as well.

He had stolen your phone during school and erased all of your male contacts, but denied it. You didn’t fight that much. You assumed that if he trusted you, then he’d allow you to speak to them again.

Your biggest mistake was falling asleep when you were supposed to be texting Oikawa. You had gotten up so early because he wanted to be on a call with you while walking to school, text you during class and at home. You couldn’t even do your homework without him interrupting you anymore.

You woke up to 120 texts and 40 missed calls that stopped at around 5am. You were beginning to think that something was genuinely wrong with your boyfriend.

You apologized to him over and over at school and Kindaichi was the one to pass by and also the one to receive a dirty look from Oikawa as he yelled at you.

Oikawa took a deep breath and wiped tears away from your eyes after moving the conversation to the storage closest in the gym. “How does me coming over to your house sound?”

“You know I can’t have a guy over..”

He smiled. “They won’t know. Couples sneak into each other’s homes all the time; strict parents won’t put a dent in us.”

He towered over you with two hands on your shoulder, face leaning close, as if telling you that there was only one answer to his proposal. “A-Alright..”

At the end of the day, Oikawa was nowhere to be seen, so you headed home by yourself for the first time in a while. No phone calls or texts either. It was kind of surreal not hearing his voice all the time.

He hadn’t asked you for your address, so you decided to take the rare chance of being alone to catch up on overdue homework from those sleepless nights you spent on your phone, texting Oikawa. At around 9pm, you heard a knock. You took off your headphones and looked to your wide open door. Confused, you were about to put them back on before hearing the knock again.

You looked beside you and out the window to see your boyfriend’s wide grin.

You sat there frozen for a moment. So, he found your address somehow and managed to climb two stories...?

You ran over to close and lock your door, then opened the window. “Tōru, what in the-“ you exclaimed in a half whisper, half shout.

“I kinda need help here...!”

You extended your hand for him to reach out to, and you noticed that there was a fire escape leading up to your room. Why hadn’t you ever noticed that? Literally anyone could climb up to your room.

“How did you know-“

“I just did,” he said and stretched with a yawn. “I’m so glad I get to see you after school again.~”

You’d see me every day if you allowed me to go to practice...

“You need to be a bit quieter or my parents will hear you... but they’re usually passed out drunk... like right now, actually.”

Oikawa nodded. He decided right then that they were useless waste. They wanted to control you, yet when you came home, they neglected you. He was beginning to think that getting rid of them wouldn’t be so hard on his state of mind after all.

He decided that his last resort will be to take you away somewhere. But there’s no need for drastic measures right then. It looks like you’re in love, and that’s good enough for him.

Oikawa just liked to stay close to you. It reassured him that you loved him and that you’d never be doing this with anyone else.

His hands began to travel under your shirt. He never broke eye contact and enjoyed seeing you squirm to get away or when you placed your hand on top of his.

“You don’t want to?”

He almost sounded sad, and your heart panged. “I.. uh..”

“Don’t worry, I know how to make you feel amazing,” he assured you and wriggled out of your hand’s grasp, smiling when you stop resisting him.

He didn’t give you any time to react or protest. Pulling your shirt over your head as if he had done this millions of times before, his mouth attacked your neck.

He sat up and pulled you onto on his lap. This is what he wanted from the start; to have sex with you. Then, he realized that was just the beginning of what he wanted, and that it wouldn’t be enough either way.

He told you that he’d take the lead for your first time. All clothes were off in a matter of seconds. Your eyes were closed and you hung onto him as if your life depended on it.

He wasn’t lying. With the few girlfriends he had, he knew his stuff. He was only reminded how special you were to him when he finally connected with you in this way. When he was naked in bed with his past girlfriends, it just made him feel nice for a few moments and then it was over.

He feels that all the time by just looking at you. And now that he’s brought you to bed with him, that’s only been increased tenfold.

Where had you been all this life? He began to wonder if he really deserved such a goddess. As long as he knew that you loved him, he would be a happy man.

His thoughts were cut in half when your phone rang.

He stopped for a moment, then gripped your shaking, naked form harder than before and continued. He reached for your phone on the nightstand and answered it, and the look on your face showed that you didn’t like that.

It was an unknown number. Oikawa picked up.

“[F/N], hey.”

Matsukawa.

Oikawa scowled, but his preppy tone of voice didn’t change. You pleaded with him silently to just hang up, but he ignored you. He had forgotten to block your contacts instead of just erasing the name attached to the numbers and your ability to contact them yourself.

“This is Oikawa.” He kissed you once and smiled. “I’m with [F/N]-chan right now, is there something you need from her?”

His movements became more erratic in an attempt to get you to be more vocal. You held back your voice and tried to reach your phone, but he held it away from you. Eventually you collapsed onto him, and he was quite happy about that as he held your weight while you made little noises.

“Uh, no- I was just gonna ask her something-“

“We’re kind of busy right now, if you don’t mind.” Much to your dismay, he hit a sensitive spot and you cried out, digging your nails into his back in an attempt to keep quiet.

“Stop calling her. She doesn’t want to speak with you,” Oikawa said coldly, hanging up and immediately blocking Matsukawa’s number. He held your face up and kissed you.

“Why.. did you do that..?” you mumbled into his shoulder. His movements slowed as his hands trailed down your body. You felt bad for Matsukawa; he was one of your close friends who brought you to practice and lost you completely to one of his own friends. But you were under his control.

“Why would I not? He needs to know that he has no business speaking with you anymore.”

You looked up at him. This was not normal. “Tōru... I told you that I would never cheat on you... I can’t even be friends with—“

He silenced you by pulling you off his lap and slamming you onto the bed. “Stop. Stop talking about them. I don’t want to hear about them. Not while we’re having our first time. It makes me sick.”

“I-“

His hands gripped around your throat and he leaned down. “You didn’t hear me or something?”

He watched your eyes widen, which only heightened his adrenaline. You pleaded through choked cries for him to stop mixed in with stammered apologize, but his grip only tightened. “If I don’t do this, you won’t learn.”

He had his way with you and only released his grip when you stopped squirming and pushing on his chest. He didn’t like that you weren’t interacting with him anymore. He didn’t like you ignoring him. It made him feel self conscious.

He figured that Matsukawa wanted to do the same thing Oikawa was doing with you, and that was unacceptable. His last resort will be to take you somewhere. He wished he just do it now, but he needed to wait for the perfect time. He was still a high school student, albeit legally an adult, he needed to continue planning ahead of time. He had a good idea of what to do to accomplish this, however.

He didn’t want you to stop loving him. He didn’t want to hurt you, but you insisted on talking to other men. He could lose you.

The more he thought about it, the rougher he got, and he didn’t even realize that you were crying under him, limbs numb, waiting for it to be over.

* * *

Iwaizumi stopped you after your third period and dragged you off somewhere. You were absolutely terrified that Oikawa would somehow see the two of you together, but Iwaizumi seemed to have taken that into consideration.

“He doesn’t walk through this hallway,” Iwaizumi said and took you to a secluded corner. “I have a question.”

You tilted your head, feet dragging across the floor in anticipation to leave.

“The bruises around your neck-“

Oikawa had promised that he had hidden them with a concealer that morning... but you remembered that he told you to be careful of accidentally rubbing it off or sweating too much.

“They’re nothing,” you replied with a large smile.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. Ah. You had replied much too quickly.

“Are they really?” he asked. “Look, I didn’t want to consider this, but because of how the dumbass has been acting lately...”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, no. He would never- ever hurt me like that. He’s just..” You struggled to find words to describe Oikawa’s... strange behavior. Iwaizumi caught on.

“It was just a fight with my family. I swear. Nothing to do with him.”

He didn’t want to believe that Oikawa, no matter how much of a dumbass he is, would hurt or treat his girlfriend in such a way, so he was inclined to believe you. “Do you... need any help?”

“No, thank you. I’ve.. already spoken to an adult about it.” Ah, so many lies falling from your mouth that day.

“Thank you for telling me that, [L/N]-san,” Iwaizumi said. He was so polite and straightforward even though he looked kind of scary at times. “And sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything.”

“You didn’t at all. Thank you for your concern... I need to go now,” you said, fiddling the bag over your shoulder and sprinting out of the room. Your heart felt like it was about to explode. You adjusted your collar so it covered a bit of your neck, but it probably wasn’t enough.

What did you get yourself into?

So maybe your ‘perfect’ boyfriend wasn’t so perfect after all... but the doubt was still in your mind. Maybe it was just him being self conscious or having trust issues from past girlfriends. Maybe this is a phase that all relationships go through. Maybe he’ll settle down and you’ll go back to the sweetness shared in the beginning. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this is the worst it’ll get, and it’s only uphill from here.

Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa’s losing his damn mind 0.o  
> I’ll try to update often. I was wondering if this was too slow for you guys? Usually yandere stories are pretty fast to go into the violent stuff so-


	6. Threats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Multiple new threats present themselves.

Oikawa hurried into an empty room as you turned the corner, rushing away from Iwaizumi. His friend had never taken off so quickly after class ended a bit early, so he decided to investigate and happened to overhear your conversation.

He was content with the fact that you kept quiet and blamed it on your parents.

He didn’t like that Iwaizumi had approached you about it.

He supposed it couldn’t be helped; no one had bruises around their neck for no reason, and the concealer was bound to wash off.

However, Oikawa didn’t like that Iwaizumi had considered the possibility of him inflicting the bruises on you. Even if it was true, what right does he have to assume something like that?

What makes him think that?

* * *

Thanks to Oikawa, your grades shot up like a firework.

Your parents again didn’t care if you stayed at school for a club activity anymore, or went to ‘a friend’s house,’ as long as you bought some alcohol on the way back from the weird van parked behind your building.

You finally told Oikawa that you love him on a rainy day while at his house. It was quiet, stammered and followed by apologies and second thoughts, but it was all Oikawa needed... for a while.

Maybe this was the pay off. Seemed worth it to you. Maybe Oikawa would get a bit less clingy and violent if the two of you attended practice regularly again.

He had apologized profusely for the bruises he gave you and bought you multiple gifts, even after you asked him to stop wasting money on you. Not one sign of violence had popped up after that incident.

Oikawa began to attend practice again and was promptly attacked (verbally and physically) by almost everyone on the team, including the coach for his absence. After strings of apologies, they welcomed him back. Iwaizumi was still suspicious, however.

You could tell Oikawa had a serious passion for the game as you watched him practice in a 3 on 3 game. You already knew that he did, but watching him in action spelled it out clearly for you.

In truth, Oikawa loved two things: volleyball, and you. If he had to choose one, he’d choose you. If he could have both, then that’s perfect. Giving it up for a while until your grades went back up was a sacrifice he’d make a hundred times. It was another way to release his anger, making his serves ten times more horrifying.

Iwaizumi couldn’t make sense of it, though. But maybe, he thought, that’s what love made people do.

Oikawa smothered you lovingly after every set, not a single sign of him being angry at you. You thought that he had gone back to normal.

You watched practice with a smile on your face. He showed off obviously for you, earning lots of rolled eyes from his teammates.

Matsukawa didn’t look at you once. He just blocked and silently thanked himself for being a middle blocker and not a wing spiker. The few times he had to directly interact with Oikawa, he acted very distant and awkward.

You didn’t blame him.

You didn’t want to lose a friend like this. He was the reason Oikawa was now your boyfriend, but you were afraid of him lashing out at you if you spoke to Matsukawa.

Wait— you shouldn’t be scared of talking to a friend when your boyfriend was around, in fear of him hurting you. That just doesn’t sound healthy... at all.

You were so excited to see Oikawa and the others every day as everything went back to normal, that one day, you left your phone at your house. After school, you hadn’t even noticed yet.

You cheered as Oikawa scored another point with a service ace and a time out was called. He flashed a piece sign at you as his team went to fetch some water.

“What do you think of becoming our manager, [F/N]-chan?” Oikawa asked with a grin. “It’d be the last puzzle piece to complete our team!”

“She’d be focusing on you and not the team,” Kindaichi mumbled, slamming his water bottle down on the bench.

You looked at the ground with a frown. Maybe he was right. It wasn’t implausible to think that you’d be too focused on your boyfriend to actually pay attention to the team... but you knew that you had what it took. You were happy that Tōru wanted you to be the manager, however.

Your disappointment was probably evident on your face, or maybe it was because Oikawa scowled in Kindaichi’s direction, because the boy backtracked. “I— I didn’t mean it like that...” Kindaichi mumbled with a blush. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re right,” Kyōtani said. He was a boy of few words, but those were pretty jarring. Yahaba nodded in silent agreement.

“I mean, it’s hard to find a manager that isn’t a fan of Oikawa,” Hanamaki said. “Picking his girl kinda defeats the point.”

You nodded, a little embarrassed. “I understand.”

“And how does that determine how well she will manage the team?” Oikawa asked, spinning a ball on his fingertip. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t give her a chance. Don’t be unfair, guys.” He pouted.

Watari agreed with Oikawa. After all, the libero was in your class as a second year, so he had a soft spot for you.

Kunimi, who skipped practice so often it didn’t really affect him anyways, didn’t seem to care what the outcome was.

Neither did Kyōtani, even though he expressed his own opinion. Maybe he was just pretending.

Matsukawa stayed silent with his eyes fixated on a ball in the corner of the gym.

The team’s eyes shifted to their coach, who sighed.

It was decided that the team would give you a chance, and you’d be a manager ‘in training’ until it was decided.

It felt foreign handing Oikawa and the others their water bottles every so often. Matsukawa didn’t seem to need water at all as he never stopped by, even though he looked a bit tired and rubbed his throat a few times.

Kindaichi came up to you sitting on the bench after a short break and you handed him his water bottle. He sheepishly took it and mumbled something.

You tilted your head and he pursed his lips. “Sorry for what I said earlier. I shouldn’t have judged you.” He sat down next to you on your right.

You shook your head, tilting your head so you could see his expression better. “Oh no, I understand. I’d probably think the same thing. I promise I’ll try my best if I’m chosen, and I won’t have any favorites.”

Kindaichi nodded, lowering his gaze to the ground.

You stared at him for a moment before smiling and leaning back. They were warming up to you! Kyōtani and the others might be a bigger problem though.

Watari walked up to you and sat on your left side, smiling.

“Hi Watari,” you said. “You‘re doing amazing.”

“Thanks!” The libero beamed as you handed him his water bottle. “And thanks for reviewing geometry with me before the test. I got one of the top scores!”

Kindaichi rolled his eyes and left.

“Ah! I’m so glad it helped. You can come to me anytime.”

“Anytime?” Watari stuck out his bottom lip. “There’s a chemistry exam in two weeks and I haven’t passed a single related homework assignment... I think I have, like, a twenty two. How are you doing with that?”

You grimaced at the mention of his grade. “Well, I’ve managed to pass chem just barely, forty six I think, so I can definitely help you.”

“You’re honestly the best,” Watari said with a smile. “Are you still only available during class though?”

“Ah... Tōru doesn’t like me going to meet other people after school...” You laughed nervously  
and he raised an eyebrow. “So I guess it’s not ‘anytime,’ as I say.”

“He sounds kinda overprotective if you ask me, like a dad. I don’t see what’s wrong with having a study session with a friend after school, especially a friend that he knows. No offense to him.”

You looked over at Oikawa who was spinning the ball, waiting for the rest to come back. For once, his eyes weren’t fixated on you. He looked deep in thought instead.

“I might talk to him about it.” You turned back to face the boy. “He should trust you anyways.”

The coach called Watari back to the court, and you wished him luck.

The game continued as Matsukawa seemed to grow more anxious. His reaction time for blocks had taken a deep plunge, very noticeable from Oikawa himself especially. He had an idea of what could be on Matsukawa’s mind and smirked to himself at the thought.

The game ended with Oikawa’s side winning with a close lead. He was a bit rusty but pulled through. It was as expected, but morale was still high for everyone involved. It seemed that they were just happy to see Oikawa back in action.

You offered to help put away the equipment as the ‘manager-in-training’. Oikawa winked at you before you left with the cart. You knew he’d wait for you near the exit.

As you went into the janitor closet to put some items away, someone walked in and tapped you on the shoulder. You turned quickly, your heart skipping a beat. “Oh, hi Matsukawa.”

“Hey.” He wasn’t looking at you. “I just wanted to talk real quick, alone.”

“Oh... ok, sure,” you accepted after some thought. Oikawa was outside, and this is the best chance you’ll get to clear things up. “Is this about...”

“Yeah. But we can forget that happened.. I want to apologize.”

You nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed, remembering that night. You instinctively put a hand around your neck. “You never asked me that question you mentioned on the phone.”

He looked down. “Right. Here goes then. Oikawa‘s right— I did like you. He’s acting like a jealous, overprotective boyfriend, and frankly, I’d be jealous too,” he mumbled. “Not to that extent but... I just wanted to put it behind us. Everything’s so dull without you around.”

You stared at the wall and chuckled nervously. “Really? I didn’t think of that.”

“W-Well, I don’t mind if you don’t hang out with me, I just... No, no— I’m going to outright say it and I’m sorry if you don’t like it.”

He placed firm hands on your shoulder, forcing you to make eye contact.

“I don’t want your relationship with Oikawa to destroy our friendship just like that. I won’t let it happen. I was the one who brought you two together and it hurts that I don’t get to see you anymore, just as friends making each other laugh. Is that.. possible?”

He seemed to calm down after blurting everything out.

You nodded. “I would really love that. You were my best friend after all.”

He let go of your shoulders. His arms fell to his side.

“I need to have a talk with Tōru. He’s been a little... more than overprotective and that’s why I haven’t been around,” you said in a whisper. “I’m just... scared. I’m sorry.”

“Scared?” Matsukawa tilted his head to the side. “What the hell is he doing to you? Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“It’s nothing, I just...”

A knock on the closet’s door interrupted your sentence. “Hey! Are you guys still in there? Hurry up, we’re supposed to be out by now.”

“Watari,” Matsukawa mumbled. “Out in a sec. Sorry, [F/N] dropped some shit.”

You glared at him and he just shrugged with a lopsided smile. He opened the door and shuffled out with his hands behind his head, with Watari asking him an abundance of questions as they walked to the exit.

You sighed. It was definitely time to try and speak to Tōru. This can all be cleared up with a single conversation, can’t it?

* * *

He was waiting for you outside. Usually he’d drag you outside himself but it seemed like he had begun to trust you a bit more. However, his expression didn’t seem too happy.

“[F/N].”

The tone used didn’t sound friendly either.

“Why’d you take so long, huh?”

Everyone else had left at his command, leaving you trapped.

“I was putting away equipment, y’know...”

“That takes at most a few minutes.” He raised a brow. “Matsun looked a bit different after he came out too— Watari said that the two of you were in there together?”

You grimaced. That didn’t sound too good, and you understood why he was upset.

“Tell me.”

“Matsukawa was just.. asking me why I don’t hang out with him much, that’s all.”

Oikawa nodded and began his walk to the station with you at his side. “And what did you answer with?”

“That...” Oh, what were you supposed to say? ‘I told him that you’re being overprotective and that’s why we can’t hang out.’ Wait, yes you can! But would he like that? Maybe this is the best time to have that ‘talk’ you were thinking of. You took a deep breath. “I told him that you were being a bit... overbearing, and that I had to spend more time with you instead to make you happy…?”

Oikawa exhaled and turned his head up. The silence was suffocating; why couldn’t he just say something already?

Then, he finally did. “Overbearing? I didn’t know that wanting you to be safe is overbearing.”

“Safe from what?” you asserted.

He took a second to think. “Other guys that would otherwise use you and then throw you away. For example, Matsun.”

“He would never do that.”

“How can you be so sure? You never know the true nature of these guys.”

“I guess I don’t know your true nature either. Or did you reveal it the time that you choked me while I cried and tried to kick you off of me? Or when you hit me, or when you isolated me from all my friends-“

He stopped walking altogether. “[F/N]. Do I really need to tell you this right now?”

Did he?

“You’re on thin ice,” was all he said after a long silence in which all you could hear was your heart pounding.

He held onto your wrist so tightly until he brought you home, that you were sure there would be a bruise there.

* * *

You ran back around to your building after buying the alcohol for your parents. You stuck your hand into your pocket as you were walking up the stairs to ensure Oikawa that you were safe and it was completely empty.

You hoped that you had just left it in your house and crossed your fingers. The inside of your apartment was a bit too quiet when you opened it. But hey, why complain about some peace every once and awhile?

After hanging up your coat, kicking off your shoes and changing into clothes, you decided that something was up.

You hurried to your room, hoping that you simply left your phone on your bed that morning.

It wasn’t there, nor was it anywhere else you looked. Under your pillow, the bed, on your nightstand, not anywhere.

You gave up and decided to just bring the alcohol to your parents and look for it in the living room before giving up. You head over to their shared room and knocked.

Your father told you to come in. You sighed after hearing his voice and hurried over to him. He was half passed out on the bed with your mother wide eyed next to him, staring off into space, a bit fidgety while your father looked irritated and impatient.

“You left your phone,” your father said as he took the bottle from you. “A few minutes ago, it started blowing the fuck up. Who is Tōru?”

You looked down at the empty space next to him on the bed. Your phone was lit up and on silent, endless messages displayed on the home screen.

“A new friend I made at school.. he gets worried if I don’t text him when I’m supposed to be home y’know..”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you sure that he’s just a friend?”

It had been a while since your parents had worried for you. It seemed that they put off their drinking session to address this little issue... why did they decide to be parents all of a sudden?

“Y-Yeah... We’re close, people mistake us for a couple.” You crossed your arms, a telltale sign that you were lying.

You knew that your lie would be 100% exposed if they had looked through the messages. All those nights Oikawa had stayed up texting ‘I love you and everything about you’ was obvious in its intent.

"You looked through them?"

"Yeah."

You didn't get too paranoid. It all depended on whether or not they scrolled up too far to the part where he apologized for the terrible things he's done to you, how he refused to let you see your other friends, and discussions of how he wants to fuck you later.

"How far?"

"...Pretty much everything. Took us the whole school day. Couldn’t believe it."

Ah.

They seemed a bit too calm. Not the usual dismissive and lazy, sometimes angry, parents you knew.

"Our biggest concern is that.. he apologized to you for.. hitting you?” Your father looked up from the messages. “He texts you non-stop— this is fucking unbelievable. What’s wrong with this kid?”

Your mother placed a hand on your father's shoulder, and he took a deep breath.

"We don't expect you to be open with us right now. Not after how we've been treating you." He looked off to the side to smile at his wife. "Maybe talking to your mother about this will be better for you."

She smiled and sat up straight. "Let me tell you something. When I was in high school, my first boyfriend was the sweetest guy I've ever met. Handsome, funny, top of his class, a bit of a player though... but he chose me. He made me feel beautiful and wanted. I didn't know any better."

"Is this going where I think it is?" you asked softly and sat down on the bed.

"He was so caring and loving and perfect. Then he hit me when he saw me texting a guy; my cousin. He apologized and bought me gifts; he promised that it would never happen again. It did. It just got worse and each time I just forgave him... then it got to the point where I was the one apologizing. I was apologizing for speaking to other men, I was apologizing for wanting some time to myself or to hang out with my friends. Then he resorted back to violence and used that to put me in line when I got tired of him. When I told him that what he was doing was wrong, he flipped. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital and he went to jail for being careless about hiding it. Your boyfriend here sounds too much like him... No, worse. Not even my ex would text me so much... tell us, what has this Tōru done to you?"

You took a second to digest her story. It was quite similar, at least the beginning... Tōru would never hurt you that bad. But all the bruises he had given you for stepping out of line were beginning to worry you. Your mother seemed to have had the same thought process when it came to dismissing these actions.

"He... well..." You shrugged off your blouse, revealing bruises on your wrist, neck and arms. "I have some more on my legs. Mom, I don't..."

"You don't have to," she said and reached over to pull the blouse over you again. She placed her forehead on your shoulder. "He's the reason I'm addicted to alcohol. I just wanted to forget. He ruined my life and is still ruining it even though he's miles away from me being locked up in a cell, rotting. Your father here saved my life from withdrawal, but now he's joined me instead. Baby, you need to stop this."

You put a hand on top of her head. It felt like you were the one comforting her. "I don't know what to do."

"Break up with him. If something else happens, I'd like to see the bastard expelled, or we can transfer you to another school."

"Huh?" Your father stared at her. She chuckled.

"Expelled? There's no proof for that. Anyways, Mom, I think I love him. I don't think I have to-"

"Honey, you know nothing. Break up with this pathetic excuse for a human being and have kids with a man who isn't an insecure, abusive piece of shit. You're lucky I'm not demanding to know his address and calling the police on him right now, or worse, going over there and beating him myself. I don't want you to become like me, so please..."

Your father held up your phone and handed it to you. "Don't worry, we didn't look through anything else. Frankly, I don't wanna see anything else you've got going on here. But this piece of shit better be out of sight and out of mind by next month. If he tries anything, I've beat up plenty of seniors when I was a second year myself, so that should tell you something."

"You going to jail for beating up a high schooler won't solve anything either." You rolled your eyes and stood up from the bed. "And yes, I promise that I'll.. I'll break up with him."

You wondered if there was some weird part of you that still believed in Tōru. However, after listening to your mother's story, those doubts began to disappear.

* * *

Oikawa's expression stayed straight as he did his homework listening into the conversation in the background. Installing a spyware application on your phone the first time he deleted your male contacts ended up coming in handy after all.

"Was this neglective parent thing just an act?" he mumbled. He got to update his little list that night. Everything was going so well, then multiple threats had presented themselves in just a few days. “I haven’t won just yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so slow :c me and my obsession of attempting to have a realistic portrayal of an already unrealistic thing which makes it unnecessarily slow. I even got frustrated re-reading this- I swear I’m trying lol. Anyways hope you enjoyed!


	7. Molotov Cocktail

There wasn't really a point in demanding that you text him the moment you get home. After all, he can hear through your phone's microphone and he'd know if something happened.

But he enjoyed your loyalty of remembering to text him that you're alright... Cured his annoying little insecurities for a hot second.

He regretted not taking care of your parents earlier. His initial reason would be that they were hurting you, but now, they were trying to separate the two of you. An even greater offense.

"Mom! You two still leaving for that trip tonight?"

"Of course! Why?" his mother called back.

"No reason."

Too many threats. Matsukawa trying to regain his friendship with you, Iwaizumi catching onto the bruises, Watari and the rest of the team getting a little too friendly with you, your parents demanding that the two of you break up, and Oikawa himself slipping up and losing your trust...

In the darkness of his room, he planned his next move carefully.

* * *

You were sleeping.

Too bad you couldn't do anything about the fire escape leading up to your window. Truly an unfortunate design flaw.

He tried to get in through the window again, but it was locked. That was expected. Too bad for you, he had a crowbar with him.

One heavy lift of his arm, and the window was open. He was careful not to wake you.

With him was a body bag full of everything he needed for that night.

He walked up to you, leaning in close to kiss your sleeping face before injecting your arm with an unknown substance.

Your breathing slowed, but didn't stop. Satisfied, he emptied out the rest of the materials in the body bag, picked you up and stuffed you inside. An empty glass bottle, a rag, alcohol, bleach, petrol, and some more needles.

He zipped it up and took a deep breath. He picked up the two empty glass bottles he took out from the bag and filled them with the three liquids. Petrol, diesel fuel, and bleach. He stuffed an alcohol soaked rag inside of the two bottles, acting as a wick.

He put away the materials back into the body bag and stepped out into the hallway to find your parents' room. They had been getting along much easier lately, and they had begun to sleep in the same room. Perfect for him.

He hesitated for a moment when he was about to light the wick on fire, wondering if he should let the toxic gas created from the bleach kill them, or inject them with something that would kill them.

He decided to do both, just in case.

His heart raced as he took out a different needle, containing a different substance than the one he injected you with. This was to kill, as opposed to knocking someone out.

"First you hurt her, then you want to take her away from me," he whispered. "As if. Sad excuses for parents like you deserve to die. You haven't changed one bit."

After injecting them, he put on a mask, walked out of the room, lit the wick on fire, and threw the Molotov cocktail straight onto the frame of the bed to make sure it shattered.

As the bottle was smashed, there was an explosion followed by flames eating the two adults alive. He covered his nose to make sure he didn't inhale any of fatal gas created from the bleach.

He ran into your room, closed the door and threw the body bag containing you over his shoulder.

He rushed down the fire escape, lighting the second bomb and throwing it into your window. It shattered as it hit your floor and another fireball spread throughout the house. He made a run for it in the dead of night, not a single soul around.

* * *

You woke up in a cold sweat and aching all over. Whatever he had injected you with knocked you out for a good few hours.

You realized immediately that you weren't sitting in your bed. It was pitch black with no windows, but you could make out the shape of a familiar body across the room.

"Tōru? That you? What's going on?"

"I just picked you up from the hospital. You've been entrusted to me for now," Oikawa said.

"Hospital?" Made sense. You felt weak and there was a sharp lingering pain in your arm. "Why...?"

"There was a fire in your apartment," he replied. He sounded sincerely upset.

"What do you mean a fire—?"

"I think it was the stove or something left on, well, that's what they told me-"

"There has to be a mistake! I- What happened to my parents?! Where are they?!"

Oikawa frowned. He held you tightly when you began to cry. You were so confused, so angry, so upset, and so done.

* * *

He hated it. Absolutely hated seeing you cry. That's why he promised to make your time there the best time of your life... unless some special circumstances arise.

"What am I gonna now?!" you cried, your knees up to your face.

"What do you mean by that? I'm going to stay with you and make sure that you're safe. You didn't need them in the first place. In fact, they were the ones hurting you-"

"What are you talking about?! We were just starting to get along and now they're dead-!"

"You don't get it do you? You think one moment of kindness is going to override years and years of neglect? That's not how it works, trust me!"

You hung your head. "And why should I trust you? They're not the only ones who've hurt me-"

"When have I ever hurt you?"

It took you a moment to calm down and think. "When you choked me while I told you to get off of me."

"I don't remember any of that. Are you sure you were actually talking? You might've thought it instead."

You frowned. That wasn't impossible... "Well, that wasn't the only time. You isolated me from all my friends-"

"You know I'm paranoid!" Oikawa exclaimed. "They all want you! Who knows what would happen if you continued to talk to them. And that was only for a short time- you talked to all of them at practice didn't you?!"

That was true as well, and you were beginning to run out of things to complain about.

"You should be thanking me! Your parents will never hurt you again-"

You were waiting for him to finish the sentence, but his breath caught in his throat.

"What do you mean I should be thanking you...?"

"Nevermind." He chuckled. "I was just... Are you hungry or thirsty?"

You wanted to die. You were so confused. Your parents were apparently burnt to death, and your boyfriend had taken you to his house after you were admitted from the hospital... the closest one to you. It made sense, but it didn't at the same time.

You felt weak and in pain but there wasn't a single burn on your body.

You were beginning to question whether his story was true, or at least, part of it. But why would he lie?

"I'll bring you some snacks," he said when you didn't answer.

He walked down some stairs. The room you were in appeared to be an attic. Of all places, why the attic? And where were his parents? And if your apartment burned down, then all of your stuff was completely gone as well... you had nowhere to go and the only person who knew your whereabout was this man. The man whose mind you can't read and whose intentions you can't figure out.

Oikawa was ready to take it. The police investigation into the fire, the questions from your classmates in school... he was ready. In hindsight, there were a few things he would've done differently... however, killing people needs a certain state of mind to accomplish. He couldn't wait any longer and he wasn't sure if he regretted it...

But when he saw you wake up in the attic, he decided that it was worth everything.


	8. Mr. Detective

Matsukawa heard some fire trucks passing by, forcing him out of his sleep. He already had trouble sleeping so he was quite irritated. His phone illuminated from a silent notification.

_Might as well... I don’t think I’m gonna be able to go back to sleep._

Not too long ago, he downloaded an app that sent a notification whenever there was an emergency or crime reported nearby.

_A fire just two miles away... and in the middle of the night in some random apartment... when was the last time that happened?_

The app also gave live updates to situations such as these, reporting how the fire started and if it’s being investigated as an arson.

_Incident reported at 4:34am. Firefighters responded at 4:37am and arrived at the scene at 4:45am._

_Firefighters report that there are two people in the apartment and are working to get them out. They are continuing their efforts to contain the fire._

Matsukawa scrolled through social media on his phone, unable to sleep, also looking out for a possible update. He lost track of time and tried to sleep, but couldn’t. He finally got a notification.

_This is now a two alarm fire._

_Another firehouse? Must be serious_. He sighed. He always wished that something interesting would happen in Miyagi, but not something like this.

_The fire has been contained at 5:54am. Two victims have been taken out of the apartment and have reported dead at the scene._

He felt his heart sink into his stomach. Why couldn’t they save them? Did they not wake up in time?

He forgot about sleeping since he had to get up in about half in hour anyways.

_Firefighters report that the fire may have been an arson. Two incendiary devices were found at the scene at 6:00am._

Yeah, this was definitely going to be big news, he thought. An arson causing two deaths in Miyagi of all places?

* * *

It was hard to put into words, but you didn’t feel like you were in your body. You felt more like you were floating in the corner of the room, watching yourself wallow in misery on the bed. It was dirty and there was a rat family in the other corner, but you didn’t care. You missed your house and your parents. You couldn’t even think straight about your situation.

Oikawa popped his head into the attic. “Good morning, [F/N].” He has his uniform on, along with his bag hanging from his shoulder. He held a small plate with a sandwich. “How are you feeling?”

“Terrible,” you mumbled. “Shit, Tōru... I don’t have my uniform or my books-“

“You won’t need it. Forget about school. You’re going to stay here and recover. No one will be expecting you to go after that fire,” he said, caressing your cheek. “Just get some rest.”

“Does the school know already? I won’t be punished for staying here?”

“Of course! They’d have to take it up with me otherwise,” Oikawa said. “Oh, and my parents won’t be back for a while, so you’re gonna be alone. There are some books here if you’re bored... your phone and stuff were all burnt, obviously.”

“Don’t remind me.”

It was back and forth between resentment towards him and finding comfort in him. You wished that he was lying, that the fire never happened and that you’re just in a nightmare... you don’t know what to believe.

Right then, this was all you knew:

1\. Your boyfriend was either a psychopath or just a teenager with complicated mood swings due to past trauma. For the sake of your own mental health, you decided to engrave the latter in your mind.

2\. Your boyfriend was either lying about the fire and kidnapped you, or is telling the truth. The latter would mean that your parents are really dead and you no longer have an apartment, and that he is your only solace left.

You couldn’t break up with him now, not when you have nowhere else to go. You were hurting so much that you decided to believe the latter. You had no one else. You didn’t want to go to school. You just wanted him to hold you and tell you that it’ll be okay. If you make him happy, he’ll make you happy, right?

...That’s your only choice.

You sat there in silence. Since when did apartments have attics anyway?

This little thought kept you entertained throughout the school day. Could he have brought you to another apartment? Maybe his parents are divorced or away; only his mother was in the apartment that you visited, and this was his father’s home instead. Maybe you were overthinking.

You tried leaving the attic, but it was locked from the outside. You found that weird. Why lock someone mourning inside of an attic? You ran back to the bed when the rats woke up.

You let sleep take care of your annoying little thoughts. The more you thought about this stuff, the crazier you felt.  
  


* * *

“Your girlfriend’s not joining us today?”

Bitterness laced Matsukawa’s voice. Oikawa didn’t mention it but kept it in the back of his mind.

“I haven’t seen her.”

“Don’t you walk with her every morning?”

“I always meet her at a certain street halfway, but she wasn’t there this morning. Anything else you want to ask, Mr. Detective?”

Matsukawa rolled his eyes. “I’m just concerned for my friend. Sorry,” he said sarcastically. “She’s probably sick. She doesn’t miss school. Has she texted you?”

“No... I’ll go check on her later today,” Oikawa said. He wasn’t lying, but Matsukawa still looked at him weird.

“There’s so much tension between you two. Cut it out,” Hanamaki demanded.

“Yeah. This isn’t the time,” Iwaizumi joined in.

“Whatever. Anyways, did you guys see the news this morning? The fire in that apartment that killed two people?”

Hanamaki nodded. “Yeah! There’s a damn arsonist in Miyagi.”

Oikawa shook his head. “That’s terrible, how sad.”

“The fire was closest to you, right Matsukawa?”

“Yeah, but it was still pretty far. I was actually watching the updates about it live,” Matsukawa replied. “I might ask my uncle about it... He’s in the police force and he might get some information about it that we’re not supposed to know.”

Oikawa perked up at that. Since when did Matsukawa have a relative in the police force? That could be perfect for him or a liability.

“You’re right. If it really was an arson, then they won’t tell us all the details to have an easier time of catching the arsonist.” Hanamaki shrugged. “Wait, so if I happened to commit a crime, could I ask your uncle to cover it up for me?”

“Ugh, shut up!”

* * *

Matsukawa felt like he was going crazy. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. “Are you sure this address is correct?”

His uncle raised a brow. “Yeah, why?” He wondered if he made a mistake giving his nephew the case file.

Matsukawa stared at the details for what felt like days. An arson, two bodies found, both adults, with one missing teenager.

“The missing girl— she’s.. o-one of my friends. A-Are you sure this is everything you know?”

“Wait, for real?” His uncle sat down on the couch with Matsukawa, placing a hand on his shoulder, noticing his ragged breaths.

“She didn’t come to school yesterday... what the hell happened?!”

“It’s happened before. Stalker kidnaps a pretty girl he sees in the street, burns down the apartment to get rid of evidence. Rare, but it happens. It might be a while until we find more information-“

“She’s alive, right?! Do they usually come back alive? Those girls?”

His uncle didn’t answer, but shrugged as if he didn’t know the answer. “Kid...”

“Can you promise me something?” Matsukawa slammed the file down on the coffee table and stood up, fists clenching. His eyes were tearing up as he spoke. “Put your heart and soul into this case...! Please! For me?!”

* * *

You were so stressed that you slept the entire day. Sleeping when your boyfriend got there, and still sleeping when he got tired as well. Oikawa didn’t interfere. He wanted to hear your voice, but not allowing you to rest after learning of your parents’ death wouldn’t be so healthy.

Oikawa acted clueless and worried once again. Matsukawa didn’t have the heart to tell him as they walked to the train station together after practice with Hanamaki and Iwaizumi.

“Did you talk to your uncle?” Oikawa asked.

“No, he’s busy. I don’t think he’s gonna be working on the case anyway...” Matsukawa mumbled.

Lies. Oikawa could tell. They’ve been friends for long enough for him to know the change in Matsukawa‘s voice when he was lying, and how he looked off to the side in shame.

Oikawa was beginning to lose his patience with him, but he was still a longtime friend of his.

“If you do, I’d like to know. By the way, I had to take care of Takeru yesterday and for the rest of this week, so I can’t exactly go to her house just yet. Though she hasn’t called me back, I’m beginning to get worried...”

Unlike Matsukawa, Oikawa lied as easily as he breathed.

He needed to tell him. He couldn’t just sit there pretending like his friend’s girlfriend wasn’t missing from the face of the Earth.

“Uh, yeah, makes sense since you two live pretty far from each other. I wouldn’t worry.”

But he couldn’t tell him. Not right then.

Oikawa faked an anxious chuckle. “Yeah. Keep me updated, alright Matsun?”

“...Sure. You keep me updated too.”

* * *

You heard the door downstairs open and close. It was only your second day of staying in the attic and you were starving for someone to hold you. Crying alone was even worse.

You were counting each second it took for the attic door to open until it finally did.

Oikawa popped his pretty face through the opening. “Yahoo! How are you?”

“I want to go outside,” you groaned. “I feel miserable just sitting here...”

He didn’t respond and instead sat down on the end of the bed and began to take off his jacket. He scoffed.

“There’s no need for that.” He spotted a rat run across the attic. He immediately stood up and picked up a broom that was leaning against the wall.

“Staying here is only gonna make it all worse-“

“You want to leave me already? Is that it?” He grumbled, slowly walking over to the corner with the rat.

“What? No, I’m just-“

“No, you’re trying to leave aren’t you? You’re staying right there,” he demanded, and swung the end of the broom at the rat. He missed. “You’re not leaving.”

“Do you think I’m trying to run away or something-“

“Yes. You’re not in the right state of mind.”

Not in the right state of mind?

Are you going crazy?

You wouldn’t be surprised.

At that moment, the rat skittered beside him. The broom hit it square in the center, pinning it to the ground.

You looked away, and only heard a lot of stomping and squealing.

“That’s over with... I’ll get the tiny ones later.”

“Thanks... And maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not in the right state of mind, not after what just happened,” you mumbled. “But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna spend the rest of my life cooped up in here. You can agree with me on that, right?”

He didn’t answer but instead broke into a small smile. “Hmm, well... Let’s assume that is what I wanted, and you found that out. What would you do?”

“...Get the fuck out? Probably,” you answered honestly.

He nodded before wiping sweat off of his forehead and crouching near your nightstand. He opened it and began to rummage through the mess.

You felt your heart begin to pound. You leaned to the side, trying to get a glimpse of what he was looking for.

You saw pick up a tool in his hand, and he sat quietly there for a second, as if contemplating what to do with it.

A sledgehammer.

The kind used to destroy walls and concrete.

He glanced at you. “Why do you look you just saw a ghost?”

You moved to the other side of the end, bringing your knees to your face again. “I don’t know...”

“Well, I’ve got to go fix something with this, so if you’ll excuse me. Call me if you need anything, but don’t try to leave~”

“A-Are you even gonna give me food?” you pleaded, placing a hand on your empty stomach.

“We’ll eat together later. This is more important right now.”

That’s all he said before opening the attic door and making his way downstairs again.

Downstairs, you heard thud after thud, as if someone was slamming something with a sledgehammer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to hell soon.
> 
> The comments are making all of my days to be honest! It gave me the inspiration to write 2 chapters today!
> 
> Hope you’re enjoying!


	9. Fifteen Inches, Six Feet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people have asked me why Iwaizumi and other characters haven’t been shown that often so far, besides Matsukawa, and all I have to say is: “This is just the beginning.”

You couldn’t keep track of time and it was slowly beginning to drive you crazy. No light except for the dim lamp in the corner, no clock or any electronic device. 

What felt like an hour after the thudding downstairs stopped, the attic door clicked and was pushed open. 

“Sorry for taking so long! Hurry up and come down or else your food will get cold.”

Your stomach was growling and pulling at you so hard that you found yourself jumping out of the bed immediately. Oikawa chuckled and helped your slightly malnourished self down the stairs. 

Then, you became sure as more and more of the space was revealed. 

This wasn’t the same apartment.

But you decided not to ask about it... well, your mind was primarily on getting some food before you died. 

You leaned on Oikawa for support, reminding yourself that you’ll almost be able to eat.

He kissed your forehead before bringing out a chair for you at the table. The apartment was much fancier than the one he tutored you in. Everything was pristinely white and clean, not a scratch on any furniture either, as if no one actually lived here. 

On the table was a plate, and your heart almost burst once you saw what was on it. 

The food that you’ve were craving for. The food you always thought of when you’re hungry. Something that would make you smile and sit down and eat it before you even realize what you’re doing, or something that would make you forget about your current situation, even for just a fleeting moment. 

He loved seeing you smile for the first time in a while at the sight of the plate. He sat down, pushed it over to your side of the table and smiled. “All for you, sweetheart.”

“Tōru! Is this why you were taking so long?!”

“Ah, not exactly. I just had something to do,” he said, placed his head on his hand. “You could’ve eaten earlier, but I wanted this to happen in my free time.” 

“Seriously?! I could’ve eaten this earlier?” you groaned, but he couldn’t really understand what you were saying as you stuffed your mouth. 

He enjoyed some milk bread while you ate. You didn’t notice his eyes fixated on you the entire time.

Oikawa dreaded the day that you began to ask questions, the day regain your mental strength, the day you ask to return to school, and the day you begin to push him away for his actions. He knew that you wouldn’t understand. 

No one ever understood him, ever. Not since he was a child. 

When you first finished, smiling and full, he only said one thing.

“Get back upstairs.”

“Huh? Why? Can’t I look around a bit? And uh... where are we exactly?”

“We both need rest, so come on.”

He practically pushed you back up, in the meantime, dropping the empty plate in the sink. He didn’t even give you enough time to look around.

He wished you a good night and promptly slammed the attic door. That’s when you got a bit worried. Your boyfriend was keeping you somewhere you didn’t recognize, allegedly because your apartment burned down, and he was allegedly given permission to keep you there. It was beginning to make less and less sense as time went by.

* * *

As far as Matsukawa knew, he and the police were the only ones who knew of your disappearance. No one else knew that it was specifically your apartment that burned down that day. The one thing that didn’t leave his mind, however, was why your name wasn’t released to the public. There should’ve been a search party the moment they realized that there should’ve been a third person in that apartment.

Did they think you were dead, and that there was no point? No, even his uncle knew that some kidnappers burned down their victims houses. Then again, he lived in America until a few years ago, where stuff like this was much more common. It just isn’t a thing that people hear about in Japan. 

As far as he knew, Oikawa didn’t have the slightest idea of your apartment burning down, or of your disappearance just yet. He didn’t know whether to be grateful or anxious. 

Matsukawa’s heart dropped that morning. 

It had become serious enough for the police to make a statement and formally recognize that you were a missing person. They didn’t believe it was a kidnapping, only his uncle did. They still put the possibility out there that you had already died from the fire or smoke inhalation nearby, or much less likely, a kidnapping.

He clenched the remote. They were so stupid. It was obviously a kidnapping. Suggesting that you might’ve escaped and died from the smoke somewhere else downplays the entire situation. 

That day, on the third day, every third and second year teacher in Aoba Johsai told their classes all about the disappearance of a second-year student, you, and suggested that they go to the police station if they have any information on your whereabouts. 

There was a very tension filled lunch that afternoon. 

No words were shared between the group that had just lost a member.

Everyone just stared at their lunch with a few awkward coughs here and there. Hanamaki opened his mouth to speak a few times, but then held himself back. He learned to read the room. 

When Oikawa bit into his milk bread and promptly burst into tears, trying to hide his face in his uniform’s vest, everyone else felt a pang through their hearts, and their eyes began to brim with tears as well. 

Matsukawa excused himself, rushing to the bathroom, and Hanamaki rubbed his eyes with his hands furiously. 

“Are you alright?” Iwaizumi was the first one to speak. He had no doubt in his mind that Oikawa wasn’t alright one bit, but he still asked that specific question.

Oikawa chuckled, then coughed. “Iwa-chan, you know my answer.”

“I still have to ask,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “Ugh, c’mere.”

Oikawa wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi and laid his head on the boy’s shoulder. He savored this, because he knew that it might be the last hug he’d ever receive from him.

* * *

  
Iwaizumi had to get away from Oikawa.

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do that, or say what he was planning to say. On any other day, he’d rather bash his head into a wall until it broke, but it had to be done.

Finally managing to get Matsukawa and Hanamaki together without Oikawa leering over them after lunch with a clock counting down their time together, he spoke.

“[F/N] had bruises not too long ago, around her neck. I asked her if it could’ve been Oikawa who gave them, but she said it was her parents... I thought you should know that.”

“Her parents were hurting her? Why didn’t you say anything to us?!” Matsukawa exclaimed. “Or the police?!”

“She told me that she had already spoken to someone about it... but that’s beside the point. Whenever I spoke to her about Oikawa, she got super nervous. And it’s like she can’t be alone with us without her having to go back to him... I just have the idea that it could’ve been Oikawa, and not her parents who gave her the bruises.”

Matsukawa stayed silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. “So now you’re saying Oikawa was abusing her? Ok, it’s not totally impossible, unbelievable and makes me want to throw up though. But what does that have to do with this?”

“You’re right. There’s no way Oikawa has anything to do with the fire and all that, but maybe... he was hurting her and she tried to fake her own death?”

“I don’t wanna listen to this anymore,” Matsukawa said with crossed arms, looking away with a pained expression. “This is crazy.”

“So what you want...” Hanamaki began. “Is for us to leave this to the police? Not make a statement or tell them about their weird little relationship? Not give them any possible theories, no matter how crazy they may be? We might not want to believe them, but it’s the least we could do to help.”

“If it comes to that, then sure. But I refuse to believe that Iwaizumi is right,” Matsukawa said. He glanced at the ace.

Iwaizumi nodded. “Ok, I agree with you... now let’s go get our minds off of this.”

* * *

  
On the third day, while people were wondering where you were, a thought crossed your mind as you sat in bed, reading for the first few hours of the day. 

You decided that you would try and find out what Oikawa was hitting downstairs with that sledgehammer. 

You didn’t actually want to know, but it was better than being cooped up in bed for the rest of the day. He just wanted to protect you. Anyone would be worried after your partner almost died in a fire, his protectiveness made sense. 

You leaned next to the door. It had a combination lock, something you have to deal with opening every day in school. But you knew there was a way to open these kinds of locks without knowing the actual combination.

You put your ear to the lock and turned it slowly until the lock clicked, then you turned counter clockwise until it began to resist. You have no idea how long it took to guess the final number, but it was definitely a while, as you couldn’t remember how to find it. 

When the shackle finally opened, your heart leapt. 

Should you really do this?

Wait, why is that a question? What’s wrong with exploring what is practically your new home?

Oikawa didn’t like the idea... so what? Was he there? No.

The apartment looked more beautiful than last time, somehow. Walking to the living room made you crave that food that you loved. You wondered if he had anymore stashed away, but then realized he’d definitely notice if it went missing.

You tried to stay focused. You went into a hallway and realized just how big the apartment was. Actually, it didn’t even look like an apartment. It was more of a fancy, expensive house, nowhere near the city. 

Much better than your old apartment, which apparently consisted of ashes. 

Maybe you could get used to this. Living with your boyfriend in a fancy house, no need to go to school for a while... if Oikawa lived there as well, then Aoba Johsai shouldn’t be too far away. 

There were 3 doors in the hallway. The first one led to a bedroom with a messed up bed. You assumed it was where Oikawa slept. You were about to make the bed, but then realized you probably shouldn’t meddle with his stuff.

The next room was the bathroom. A god send. Much better than peeing in a bottle.

The last room was.... pitch black and completely empty except for an out of place couch in the middle of the room.

As you stepped in, you swore that you felt something run over your foot. On instinct, you found yourself running over to the couch in an attempt to get away from it. 

You laid down and laughed at your idiocy, then peeped behind the couch.

There was a huge hole behind it, complete with jagged edges. A sledgehammer and a shovel rested next to the hole. It was around fifteen inches wide and six feet long.

So he was just... breaking the ground with the hammer, and digging into the dirt underneath?

Weird. 

An anticlimactic find, but at least it wasn’t anything bad. You sighed and ran to the door, hoping that the bug from earlier wouldn’t catch you. 

You reached the door and swung it open, ready to head back upstairs with your head down watching your steps carefully. 

You could’ve sworn that you saw a shadow leering from the end of the hall. 

Did you really take that long opening the lock?


	10. Hope for the Future

When your brain processed the ominous shadow, you practically slammed your back against the wall of the room. Your heart skipped a beat. But why were you so scared? Because he told you not to leave the attic? Sure, makes sense, but he shouldn’t be that mad.

You closed your eyes and sighed at the silly thought, and went to walk out the door to greet him, but when you opened your eyes, he was staring straight at you with furrowed brows and bloodshot eyes, headphones hanging from his ears with loud music playing faintly in the background with his hands gripping tightly on the door frame.

“H-Hi...!”

Oikawa’s frown grew into a forced smile. “Hi. Now, you know what I’m wondering right now, don’t you?”

“Maybe...?” You took a step back into the room, and he took a step forward as well.

“Was your curiosity satisfied by what you saw?” he asked. Not quite what you expected, but then again, you had no idea what you were expecting.

“Well, I’m a bit confused on why you’re digging into the ground but...”

“You don’t have to worry about that. What were you going to do right now? Go back up to the attic after finding what you were looking for, or was it something else?”

You thought about it. Realistically, you probably would’ve tried to leave. It’s been days without seeing the outside world, your friends must’ve be worried.

But would he like to hear that?

“Your silence says a lot,” he laughed and his eyes laughed with him, but it almost seemed deranged. It didn’t sound like a happy laugh at all, more of a scratchy and irritated sound. “You don’t have to answer anymore, I already know.”

“You’re acting weird-“

“You were going to leave. Even though I told you not to, right?”

You couldn’t understand why he was getting angry, why he resented the idea of you leaving. You were beginning to doubt his reading from earlier, that he wasn’t letting you leave because you were mentally weak. There had to be another reason. 

“You know what? Yes. You’re right. Now tell me why you’re so scared of me leaving!”

“I’m not scared! Who the hell said that?!” His raised voice caused you to flinch and take a step back. He followed you with every word. “You— What don’t you understand about staying in the damn attic?! Tell me!”

You didn’t know what to say for a moment. “When I told you that I’d leave if you were set on keeping me here forever...” Your fists clenched just at the thought. “You were serious when you asked that question? When you hypothetically asked, ‘What if that was what I wanted?’ Tell me.”

“What if I was serious? What exactly would you do about it?” he asked. 

“I’d do what I told you earlier... Get out.”

A bold statement. Very bold. Especially when you’re trapped in a dark room with a sledgehammer nearby, not to mention a man that’s angry and probably much stronger than you seemed quite angry. 

“Try it,” he said with a slight smile on his face. “Go on. Walk past me, go to the front door, open it and leave. Come on, do it if thats what you really want. It’s your choice.”

You really wanted to, but your legs wouldn’t move forward. 

The more you thought about it, the worse of an idea it became. 

He sighed. “Although, I’m not sure where you’ll go without an apartment...”

He was right, but the police station was your second thought. 

Instead, your legs moved backwards.

The sledgehammer. 

It was stupid to leave without it. The thought of using it against him at that moment made you want to vomit, but you had accepted that it wasn’t safe there. 

You had to stop deluding yourself into thinking that he was sane. 

You didn’t want to believe it, but this was beginning to get ridiculous. 

“I have a feeling you wouldn’t let me either way,” you replied, trying to keep a strong front.

“What makes you so sure?”

“Just a feeling.” 

He smiled. “Well, you’re right. But will you still try?”

You were closer to the sledgehammer behind the couch. All you had to do was run, pick it up and swing.

That’s all. Then you’d be free. 

“Yeah, I will.”

He didn’t try to stop you as you ran behind the couch and picked up the heavy sledgehammer. Noticing this, you relaxed your shoulders and walked to the corner of the room, watching him.

“You have a weapon, and I don’t. It seems promising for you, doesn’t it?”

He was too calm. 

“Sure does.”

“Why are you trying to leave me? I’ve done nothing but treat you right and protect you.” Instead of running away, he walked towards you with beaming confidence. Yet, it didn’t seem real. His words and tone were laced with underlying feeling of extreme insecure and paranoia. “I don’t understand. Was I not good enough this whole time? I bet you’ve been wanting to break up with me for a while...”

“Shut up with that! You’re just... trying to make me feel bad!” You lifted the sledgehammer haphazardly. You couldn’t control the weight as you fumbled, and it ended up slamming onto your shoulder. 

There was no crack, just a sharp pain that caused you to drop the hammer, narrowly missing your foot. You kneeled to the ground, desperate to stay close to the weapon as you held your battered shoulder. Was it broken? You didn’t know. Either way, you couldn’t move it.

You were sure that you were done for. 

It would definitely be hard for your malnourished self to swing a heavy sledgehammer with one arm. Swinging it was one thing, but dealing a blow hard enough to immobilize Oikawa was another story. You would have to hit him in a sensitive area, then run before he could recover. This included his ankles, knee, groin... his face was way too high, unfortunately. You needed to act quick and precisely, and manifest some luck. 

While you were lost in your thoughts, the door was opened and shut again.

“Did he just...”

He left.

You rushed over to the door, hesitating when you were about to open the doorknob. 

You tightened your grip on the hammer, opened the door and swung at the wall beside you.

Nothing. 

Your heartbeat had gone through the roof. Where did he go?

You didn’t hear much movement after he left. You looked through the hallway, eyeing the living room for anything that had moved. Everything was in place. You slowly walked, massaging your swollen shoulder. 

He was nowhere to be seen. 

You felt a bit giddy walking through the living room and towards the exit. You didn’t hear it open, so he wasn’t outside... was this the chance you needed?  
  


* * *

Iwaizumi threw up when he got home, as if that would wash away his words.

He wondered to himself: How could he possibly suggest that his childhood friend had anything to do with the disappearance of a friend? How could he suggest that his childhood friend had the potential to hurt somebody to that extent? His own girlfriend, even?

Oikawa Tōru was crying his eyes out at lunch. He was hurt, he couldn’t imagine the pain he was going through, and Iwaizumi had the audacity to accuse him of such a thing? To his best friends no less.

But there were no leads. The police needed something. He just needed to scratch the annoying itch he had ever since he saw the bruises on your neck. If Oikawa would be cleared of any suspicion, Iwaizumi could die happy. 

Just because they were friends, doesn’t mean Oikawa could do no wrong. 

He thought of anything, anything at all in the past that he could use to justify these heinous accusations he was making up. Something besides the way you tensed up at the sound of Oikawa’s name, or how quickly you answered when questioned about the cause of the bruises. 

Then, he remembered the time in middle school when Oikawa strangled a dog, almost to death before Iwaizumi stopped him, just because it licked his new shoes. 

No, that was a one time thing. A surge of anger. But he was just so clammy and anxious, thinking back on what he said... he hated it. He hated that it was starting to make sense. He hated this entire situation and wished that... you didn’t exist. That Matsukawa never met you. You changed him. You changed Oikawa. Everything seemed fine until that day.   
  


* * *

You stopped in your tracks and stood in the middle of the living room. Was it really wise to attempt to escape without knowing where Oikawa was?

You had absolutely no idea where you were currently. What if no one heard your screams for help once you got outside?

You were sure that Oikawa was still somewhere in the house. You’d have to drop the sledgehammer to outrun him, which was a huge problem. 

Your best bet was to open the door, throw the sledgehammer somewhere and run.

You were set on his plan as you walked slowly to the door, paranoid, as if he would jump out at any second. The flickering lights seemed a lot more ominous right then. Your eyes were fixated on the door. 

As you walked past the the dining table, you felt something slide across the back of your foot. 

Fuck.

Something pressed into it, cutting who knows how deep until it sliced what felt like your nerves. One swipe in less than a second.

Hiding with a knife... Seriously?

You remembered something while learning about anatomy. The area that was flowing with spurting blood was your Achilles’ tendon. The largest and strongest tendon in your body. 

It hurt like a bitch. You wanted nothing more than to hold the cut area like a baby and cry as you fell to the floor, but a hand grabbed your foot. You felt a finger and a knife, digging into the cut, making it deeper as if he were dissecting you. You cracked some of your fingernails scratching the floorboards in agony. 

He was saying something, possibly kind words to calm you down, but you were trying so hard not to scream that you had drowned it all out. 

It’ll be a cold day in hell when you subject yourself to this type of pain again.

You should’ve listened to your gut and stayed inside. Even apologized maybe, just for your own safety. 

Now that you know Oikawa is actually crazy, you can begin to think a bit differently. 

At least he didn’t break your knees with the sledgehammer. That didn’t look too fun either. However, the amount of blood you were losing was making you a bit dizzy... and who knows when you’ll be able to walk again?

* * *

That night, Matsukawa thought about becoming a detective while staring at your case file in pitch darkness with only a dim lamp light beside him. 

He was in his third year of high school, and yet he hadn’t the slightest idea of what he was going to do. But then, he knew.

His goal in life right then was to get closure for you, whether it be good or bad, and then dedicate his life to solving other tragic cases like this. The whole thing just resonated with him. Flipped a switch. He wanted to help people who had lost everything. 

If you were alright, he promised to hug the shit out of you, and in the future, when the two of you are adults, he’ll look back on that time and laugh, mentioning that your case was what prompted him to become a detective. Ah, or maybe lawyer, that’s just as good. And maybe, just maybe, he would have to courage to confess to you, even if Oikawa was still in your life. That is, if Oikawa is completely innocent. 

These positive thoughts were his coping mechanism when things went wrong. Thinking about what will happen when the sky clears and everything turns out alright. Hope for the future. 

This was a bit different than what he usually had to deal with in his messy life, but he promised himself that it would be alright. 

He couldn’t bare to think otherwise. 

The next morning, more info was released. 

It was found that there was a forced entry through the window near the fire escape. The autopsy on your parents showed that there was barely any soot in their lungs, which suggested that they were dead before the fire even started. Because of this new information, the case was officially ruled a kidnapping. 

With that, your name was finally published, and posters were hung up. 

Matsukawa wanted to bash his head against the wall because of the fact that it took so damn long for this to happen. 

Since it went from a disappearance or a possible runaway to a kidnapping case, an assembly was held that day at Aoba Johsai for you. Instead of suggesting that people come forward with any possible leads like last time, they demanded that close friends of yours get ready to come to the station and tell the police everything they knew about you and your behavior lately, and especially if you had any enemies. 

It was a tough day for everybody but Oikawa. 

Watari failed his test without your help. He didn’t care about that, though. Unfortunate, but Oikawa couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Then, he remembered how miserable you were that morning. Holding your badly wrapped foot with your nerves and tendon completely cut with a rusty kitchen knife... He couldn’t risk being hit with a sledgehammer, especially in the groin, no way. He’d do it again if he had to, this time, to your other foot.

He was tired of the assembly and of people talking about you all day... and now, he had to psyche himself up for an interview with the Miyagi Police Force. 

As long as he kept thinking of you locked in the attic waiting for him, he would be just fine. 

And hopefully, you won’t try to escape ever again.


	11. The Perfect Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since the last update, so you've probably forgotten a few things. I'm here to jog your memory.   
> Last time, your achilles’ tendon was slashed by Oikawa because you ‘tried to escape,’ when you were really just curious about the hole in the floor that can inhabit a human body. How sad.   
> Iwaizumi threw up at the thought of accusing his best friend of such a heinous crime, Matsukawa is thinking of the day he finds you and gets to marry you, while Hanamaki is close to breaking his seemingly strong front.   
> Posters are being hung up with your name, and an investigation has begun, involving Matsukawa’s close family.

“You seem nervous.”

Oikawa heart skipped a beat. He stopped tapping his foot on the ground and let out a dry laugh. “Do I?”

He had gone with Hanamaki, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa to the police station after school. They were separated and had begun to be interviewed seperately.

The detective noticed Oikawa stroking his arms. A common sign of anxiety.

“I get it. What happened was horrible, and this is probably the first time you’ve been interviewed in a police station...”

Oikawa raised a brow. He couldn’t tell if the detective was actually being sympathetic towards him. He knew that they loved to lie to get what they wanted. He wouldn’t let his guard down.

“But please, relax, we just need a starting point for now. We need information on where she could be. Of course, you can refuse if you’re uncomfortable today.”

Oikawa knew his rights. But refusing to be subject to a simple routine interview at the beginning of the case only made him unnecessarily suspicious.

The tightness in his throat began to subside as he took deep breath. He struggled to make eye contact with the detective. He wanted to punch himself for overreacting, but it’s not like he was an expert at this.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to sleep lately. But yes, I can answer any of your questions. I just want her back.”

What Oikawa found interesting was the last name of the detective interviewing him.

Aimoto Matsukawa, his name tag read.

Could he have been Matsukawa’s relative in the police force?

Oikawa answered the basic questions.

“When was the last time you saw her?

“Any enemies?”

“Any problems at school?”

“How long has the relationship been going on?”

Oikawa knew that this had to be Issei Matsukawa’s uncle. He was quite young. He looked to be in his mid thirties; he had to be inexperienced.

“Alright, I’ll stop with questions for now. Um, you know my nephew, right? Issei?”

“Ah, yes I do. He talked about you... Why didn’t you go to interview him instead? If I can ask.”

“Not allowed since he’s a family member.” Aimoto shrugged. “He’s talked about me?”

“Yeah, something about learning as much as possible about the case from you. He’s shaken up about all this too. He‘s [F/N]-chan’s best friend... I feel bad for him.”

The detective sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Thank you. I’ll be right back.”

Oikawa let out a deep breath he was holding once Aimoto left. He took a risk agreeing to be interviewed, with no parents in the country... He gasped silently. He had forgotten to take care of them... he’d have to do that when he went back to you.

Iwaizumi mentioned Oikawa’s strange behavior. So did Hanamaki and Matsukawa during their interviews.

But there was a slight difference.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki didn’t mention having any suspicion towards Oikawa, and didn’t imply that he had the potential to become a suspect.

However, Iwaizumi did.

The detective interviewing Iwaizumi scribbled down the information regarding the bruises around your neck.

“It’s just a feeling... That I want to get rid of. As soon as possible.”

The detective nodded and gave Iwaizumi a warm smile.

* * *

You spent your time alone with your hand gripped tightly around your foot, loving the slight relief you got from placing pressure on the deep wound. But you knew the pain wouldn’t be completely going away any time soon.

You wondered if anyone was thinking about you.

It was later than usual. You didn’t expect Oikawa to be on time every day, but you couldn’t help but feel paranoid and isolated.

You heard the same click coming from the attic door. You dreaded the sound of the wood creaking as it was forced open.

The bed dipped as Oikawa sat at the end, making you accidentally lose your hold on your foot. You winced and steadied yourself. He didn’t even look at you.

“Today’s been stressful,” he managed to say. His teeth were gritted together. Oikawa knew that he would have to deal with the investigation and the stress that would come from it. That’s why he had to take the opportunity to use you as a stress reliever. You were right there, all for him.

“Yeah..? What were you doing?” Your voice was low and scratchy.

Oikawa reached time gently hold your foot, careful to not irritate the cut. “Oh no, just school stuff. It’s just been tough lately. Can you make me feel better?”

He put a hand on your shoulder.

“Um.. can I ask.. a few questions?” You didn’t wait for him to answer, hoping he’d pull away. “Why are you doing this? Everything was going fine...”

He didn’t answer.

“Tōru... I don’t get it...”

It didn’t make sense.

He didn’t answer.

“It was going so well...”

It was. Until he began to hurt you, but maybe he would believe it.

Silence hung in the air. You gave up.

“Where are we... this isn’t your apartment, right?”

There was no answer. Oikawa dragged his foot across the ground.

“How about your parents.. they’re not wondering where you are? And... where exactly are we? This isn’t your apartment... not the one I went to.. you can’t answer any of these?”

You were sure to go crazy if he withheld every little piece of information. You noticed his eyes go wide for a second, and his teeth gritted together. “You’re correct, it isn’t my apartment,” he replied.

The stiff tone of voice he used told you that he wasn’t going to elaborate on the matter. “As for my parents, they went on a long business trip. And they should be coming back tonight. I’ll have to take care of that,” he mumbled.

“What do you mean...?” your voice didn’t even reach him as he stood from the bed.

He smiled back at you. “Count in your head for ten minutes. Then, knock on the attic’s door, and I’ll let you come down. And I mean exactly ten minutes.”

You felt pathetic, counting in your head. You almost lost track as your mind wandered elsewhere for a moment, and you never felt such a bad heart skip.

You were terrified of what he might do to you the moment you disappointed him.

During the last five minutes, you began to crawl out of the bed. It was incredibly painful to drag your food across the ground, but you didn’t have much time.

After what you were sure was another four minutes, you knocked gently on the attic door. Then, harder, wanting him to hear you for sure.

When the door opened, Oikawa noticed the painful expression on your face and picked you up gently.

“Sorry for making you crawl to the door. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Was there any reason...?”

“No, I just wanted to see if you were still obedient.”

He carried you downstairs. You held onto him tightly and had your face buried in his neck.

His anxiety never stopped gnawing at his brain. He couldn’t figure out why you would want to leave, but at the same time, he knew exactly what you were thinking. He had messed up by snapping at you.

He eventually placed you down on the couch. You struggled to find a comfortable position to let your foot rest before he placed a pillow under it.

He felt you stiffen up again. “I know you might be shaken up... but just stay with me, don’t try to leave and everything will be fine. You understand that, right?”

That sentence made your stomach drop. You could tell from his voice that you shouldn’t try to resist.

“I guess..”

His expression remained neutral. “Let’s eat and watch a movie. I can’t order today, so I’m gonna have to make something... Jeez, I don’t even know how to cook and I don’t even know what ingredients are here...”

It seemed that for the last few days, he had been ordering food for himself. How lazy of him.

You figured that since he didn’t know what ingredients were in the house, that he didn’t come there too often. You didn’t exactly know what that could mean.

“I know how to cook...”

He looked at you and then broke out into a smile. “You just become more perfect every day don’t you?”

You didn’t know how to feel about his praise. Shouldn’t it disgust you, considering he was keeping you somewhere against your will?

“I’ll let you have these while you cook,” he said, and pulled out a pair of crutches perfect for your height. “I was going to give them to you later... but you’ll need them.”

You didn’t know how to feel about the fact that he was hiding those from you.

He held the crutches in front of you, and you slowly pushed yourself onto them. He picked you up off of the floor so you could get your arms above them.

He helped you as you put one leg forward and almost fell as you tried to lift up the crutches. It took a few minutes before you got to the kitchen. He didn’t complete trust that you won’t fall and hurt yourself, so he decided to stay close by.

There was a bag of rice near the fridge. And inside the fridge? Nothing, except for an unopened bottle of soda. Oikawa literally hadn’t even checked, it seemed. He simply ordered food to avoid cooking at all. The garbage bag was completely full and kind of smelled.

There was no way that the house was one he was familiar with. You assumed that with confidence.

You had to kick the bag of rice with your good foot to the sink, then sacrifice the blood going to your arms to open it. It was torture, but you really didn’t want to bother Oikawa just yet, who was making a phone call...

“Did you switch out the tickets?”

You stopped ripping the bag open for a moment, but then realized that it was probably suspicious, so you continued.

“They’re on line? Ok. Good. Make sure they miss their flight no matter what. When is the next flight over here....? Perfect. Call me again that day. Uh, yeah. I’m not sure if I’m gonna go through with it.. I need time to think.. Ok, bye.”

What could he be doing? You remembered that earlier he told you that his parents should be coming back that night... Was he making them miss their flight?

And what did he mean by, ‘I’m not sure if I’m gonna go through with it?’ What was he referring to?

You finally managed to take a few cups of rice out of the bag. You placed the rice onto a pan on the stove after washing it.

Would burning yourself purposely somehow serve as a distraction? One good enough to escape?

No, you were just desperate. That wouldn’t work. It’d just serve to make your physical state worse than it already is.

Then, an idea popped into your head. You almost knocked over the pan as you frantically backed up to look into the cupboard beneath the sink.

You were looking for something. Anything.

You found a bottle of rat poison. It was almost empty. That’s not good enough, not to kill a healthy human.

But then again, did you want to kill him?

You kept looking and eventually, in the very back, you found a bottle of arsenic.

Now, that, you didn’t understand. What need does someone have for arsenic? Why is it just laying around?

The house must belong to someone who has access to this kind of thing.

Nonetheless, you took it. Your hands shook as you went to turn the cap. You couldn’t even remember if it was lethal to inhale, you shouldn’t be playing around with it.

Just a tiny bit... Just one drop into the rice. That’s all you needed to do.

No, you had to eat as well.

You separated the rice into two different pans, and looked back to see Oikawa laying on the couch, facing away.

Your hands shook with one on the bottle cap and the other holding the base of the bottle.

Just one quick movement and it’ll be over and done with.

As you opened it, holding your breath just in case and let a tiny drop of arsenic fall into the pan, you wondered if that was really the right move.

Arsenic is colorless, tasteless and odorless. No one would notice it in their food until it was too late. It was a miracle. The perfect poison. Too good to be true, almost.

A small dose would render Oikawa sick and in the hospital for a while. A few more drops and he’d die.

Is his life more important than your freedom? Is this the only thing you can do?

Would putting him in a hospital be enough?

You didn’t think of an answer to that question, because the arsenic was already being absorbed into the rice, and you couldn’t turn back time.


	12. Tōru’s Special Eyes

Oikawa Tōru did not come from a stable, functional family.

This much was quite obvious since he was a child. 

On his sixth birthday, he sat alone in the living room without any gifts or even a hug. 

But that was the least of his worries. 

His birthday was just another day for him, if not even more stressful. His mother would still come home from work crying her eyes out, and Tōru would still have to comfort her, and stop his father from making it any worse. 

The only difference was that his parents would make Tōru feel bad for wanting to do something fun for his special day.

At six years old, Tōru was more mature than many ten year olds. He knew how to cook basic meals, and knew the routine of everybody in the house. He knew at what time to retreat to the quietness of his room, when his father would wake up in the afternoon and drink a bit, when he would have to do the laundry and make coffee for his parents, as well as when to wake up them for work everyday. 

He didn’t expect love or affection from his parents. He didn’t expect toys or food made for him, or even a simple ‘I love you’ before school every morning. 

It was as if he was the parent. He never got to be a child. He never got to laugh and play and relax, bond with his parents through life experiences… He had to mature all too quickly. He was forced to grow up too fast. 

Maybe that’s why Tōru turned out so childish in high school. 

And maybe that’s why Iwaizumi found him so weird and slightly intimidating (but he’d never admit that) when they first met. Of course, Iwaizumi didn’t have a clue himself. 

It took awhile for Iwaizumi to begin noticing the littlest of changes in Tōru’s mood throughout the day at school. Iwaizumi was annoyed at the fact that Tōru could notice when he was just a tiny bit upset at something. 

Tōru noticed when his friend was hiding his emotions. He always knew exactly what Iwaizumi was feeling. Was he that easy to read? Was Iwaizumi an open book? 

His parents would hide their emotions, but Tōru’s eye was trained to see when they were angrier than usual, stressed out or tired. This skill allowed him to read closed off people as if they were wide open. 

Tōru simply had special eyes that could see through anybody, given to him through years of reading people who are closed off and manipulative in order to survive. 

He was something of a fake person ever since he was a kid. At home, he was the observant, quiet and obedient child wanting to survive. The child who wasn’t really a child, who wasn’t allowed to be one, while at school, he was a smart and enthusiastic role model for all. This is something he had to learn himself. 

Iwaizumi saw that Tōru was usually stoic and attentive during class. By playtime, he would let loose just a little bit, but was obviously keeping his guard up. He was a model student and well liked by all. He couldn’t stand to give himself or his family a bad image. Or, well, his parents wouldn’t stand. 

However, there was obviously something wrong, much clearer to the adults than anyone, but nobody ever took action. 

Reputation. That was the one thing drilled into Tōru’s mind during his years at school. 

Be a show-off. 

Be confident. 

Give you and your family a good image. 

Show the public how amazing of a family you are, to raise such a talented, smart and popular son. 

Iwaizumi couldn’t remember the last genuine smile he saw from Tōru. It actually had to come back to him in a dream.

It was that time when Iwaizumi slapped him for spacing out while they were throwing a volleyball around in his backyard. He couldn’t tell what the brown-haired boy was thinking, but it wasn’t anything pleasant. But the event managed to get a genuine smile from the boy.

Whatever Tōru did, no matter how many times he was praised for being such a good student or such a good volleyball player, he still felt worthless once he got home. He felt worthless whenever he saw someone better than him. 

He felt that if he wasn’t the best, he was absolutely nothing. 

And that’s why Iwaizumi always caught Tōru outside practicing volleyball or studying in the middle of the night, ever since they were little kids. He didn’t understand it, not at all. 

He couldn’t understand his thought process or what brought Tōru to this desperate point. He was getting less sleep worrying about the bastard sometimes.

It hit him one day: The amazing Oikawa Tōru probably hated himself and thinks that he is terrible at everything. It was a harsh way to think, but he pretty much nailed it. All Iwaizumi had to do was save him… but that’s easier said than done. 

Tōru suffered silently. He was put on a pedestal by his parents once they realized how much of a prodigy he was. If they knew how much he hated himself, they probably wouldn’t even care. In fact, they probably already know. 

Maybe it was because his parents were failures themselves. His parents saw Tōru more as an extension of themselves; what they could’ve been if they weren’t failures. They wanted to see someone related to them succeed. They were living vicariously through Tōru, because he was better than them in every aspect. But he didn’t see it that way. 

Tōru one day made the mistake of trying to express these emotions he had of self doubt and inferiority. That didn’t end well at all. It was drilled into this mind that he apparently wasn’t allowed to harbor his own opinion, or at least, he wasn’t allowed to speak his mind. He learned that day that he was simply just a tool for his miserable parents to take advantage of. An emotional, and sometimes a physical punching bag, as well as a trophy to show off. 

He could barely take it anymore.

In middle school, Tōru failed a test. Why? He was so stressed that he had forgotten all the words he was meant to memorize. On top of that, he had a volleyball game later that his parents were coming to watch. His legs were sore, he didn’t get any sleep from trying to memorize all of those words. 

He was on the brink, while other middle schoolers would laugh off a failing grade and go home. Tōru couldn’t afford to have his average be any less than a ninety five. 

Iwaizumi caught him hunched over and crying in the bathroom. He tried to comfort him, but the tears didn’t stop. Eventually, Tōru threw up in the toilet, coughed for a few minutes and laid down there cuddled up to Iwaizumi, voicing out the opinions and emotions he wasn’t meant to have in the first place. 

Tōru felt like a suffocating pet animal. Did his parents really love him? He wasn’t really sure, and wasn’t shocked at the fact that he couldn’t answer that question immediately with a yes. It wasn’t weird to him. He knew that his parents would ‘love’ him as long as he continued to give his family a good image with amazing grades and good serves. He knew by middle school that he would be living like this for the rest of his life. 

Would he be able to break out of this mentality even if his parents just completely disappeared one day? 

Tōru has tried to kill a dog for simply biting his shoe. He’s talked too much about what it would feel like to jump off a burning building, preferably with someone else. About how poison would smell and taste like. He’s drawn people hanging from trees, drawn people from class he didn’t like being murdered. Knew a little too much about incendiary devices and how they worked, how to bury bodies, how to hang oneself properly…

The only reason Tōru didn’t fall into the deep end was because Iwaizumi was there to walk him to school every day. Because Iwaizumi was there to put him in his place. Because Iwaizumi was there to yell at him and call him an idiot for thinking bad things.

But if Iwaizumi _did_ do enough, then why is this happening? Why did Tōru commit a murder, arson and a kidnapping? Why did Tōru cling to one person? Why did Tōru’s trust issues shoot through the roof? 

The answer is that Iwaizumi _didn’t_ do enough. He should’ve known he had to do more! 

If only his parents allowed him to sleep over without worrying that he’d be corrupted, maybe Iwaizumi could’ve shown him what a real family is supposed to be like. Maybe it wouldn’t be enough anyways… who knows? 

And what if Iwa wasn’t there for him at all? What would’ve happened?

* * *

“He didn’t pick up.”

“Oh, for fucks sake.”

Matsukawa, Iwaizumi and Hanamaki stood at the front of Oikawa’s house. Iwaizumi was already tired of knocking ruthlessly on the door and calling for the setter. Where could he be? And are his parents not there either?

“One more time?” Hanamaki suggested.

Iwaizumi grunted and aggressively pressed the call button, putting a hand on his hip as he waited.

“Hello?”

Oikawa picked up the phone as you nervously placed the plate of food on the table with shaky hands. You cherished the moments you got to recollect yourself as he spoke.

“Where are you, Shittykawa? Right now?”

“Err, I’m at home, why? What’s up?” 

Iwaizumi glanced at the two boys. “Well, we’ve been knocking for half an hour. Were you in the shower or some shit?”

“Oh, well…” Oikawa cleared his throat. “Ok, I’m not actually there. I’m somewhere else right now.” He ended the sentence with a nervous chuckle.

“Somewhere else?” Iwaizumi sighed. He pushed the phone against his chest for a moment. “He’s not here.”

Hanamaki groaned. “So we came here for nothing? Let’s just go to my place.”

“Where the hell is he this late?” Matsukawa decided to ask. He couldn’t think of anywhere else the boy could be. 

The four of them held spontaneous movie nights all the time. It wasn’t weird to show up unannounced, and this rarely happened. 

“Sorry, you guys should’ve told me you wanted to come over, it’s been really stressful for me…” Oikawa laughed. “But I have to take care of Takeru, you understand right?”

“Uhuh, yeah.” Iwaizumi nodded, not willing to pry into his life anymore. He knew that the boy must be stress and possibly hating himself. He just wanted to comfort him through the loss of his girlfriend, that’s all.

Iwaizumi was still deeply disgusted with himself for suspecting that Oikawa had something to do with your disappearance. Coming over to watch a movie with his friend group to talk about some things would’ve helped him feel better, but now... 

He wasn’t about to interrogate Oikawa, like asking why he didn’t bring Takeru to his own house, or why his parents weren’t home either. 

Iwaizumi would be lying if he said it didn’t make him even more suspicious. 

“Sorry, Iwa-chan. Matsun and Maki too. I’ll make it up, I swear. Uh, I’ll buy you guys some cream puffs tomorrow.”

“You don’t need to do that. Just stay safe, dumbass.”

Oikawa sighed heavily at the loud click of the call ending. ‘ _I need to do something_ ,’ he thought. If the police find out he has another house, he might get screwed over.

No. He knew that he could do this. He’ll just have to stay attentive and hard-working, like he always did.

He looked back at you. “Something’s bothering you. Are you alright?” He asked as he picked up his spoon.

“Y- Yeah… I’m alright, sorry.”

The short call wasn’t enough to calm yourself down. Your hands were still shaky and you were still sweating. Your tongue felt dry. Your brain didn’t know whether to be worried for his life or happy that he might die. 

Part of you was hoping that he noticed something in the food, part of you hoped that he’d at least be put in the hospital, and a small part of you was demanding that you grab a knife and stab him yourself.

Those words were enough to make you nauseous and accidentally kick the table as a result.

“Do you feel sick?” he asked and cupped your face in his hands. “Talk to me.”

“No, no, I’m alright. Please. Just tired and hungry…”

“Start eating then.”

He sat back down across from you and watched as you took the first bite. It didn’t taste that good, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t stop thinking about your next move after Oikawa takes _his_ first bite. 

“You keep looking up at me.”

“Aren’t you… going to eat?”

“I will, don’t worry. Just keep eating.”

And you did. His eyes were glued onto you. When your arm shook, he looked over there. When you coughed over the tight feeling of anxiety bubble up in your chest, he looked back up at your face. When your chest began to ache, he looked there as well with a soft but forced smile that sent a shiver down your spine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated!


	13. Blackout

"Are you alright?"

Oikawa's voice sounded as if he were right next to you. Maybe he was, but you didn't know because you weren't looking anywhere but your plate. Your heart was racing, and you weren't even sure why anymore. You needed to calm down as soon as possible before he began to get suspicious. But.. you felt calm.

You closed your eyes and nodded. beginning to eat quickly, not even giving yourself time to taste it. Oikawa watched and when you were almost done, he finally picked up his spoon.

He cut some meat off and pushed it onto his spoon as well as some rice.

He stared at it, and you gave yourself a break to look up at him. You wanted to tell him that he shouldn't eat it, but at the same time, that's the stupidest thing you could ever do.

"Something wrong?" you asked.

He lifted up the spoon next to his eye, then smelled it. He set it back down onto the plate and narrowed his gaze.

"Why did you poison the rice?"

What?

Is it possible that he knew? Did you imagine that?

You felt as if your heart shifted out of place. It didn't make sense. He wasn't looking when you snuck the arsenic into the rice, and the poison is odorless, yet he seemed as if he sniffed the rice and recognized it.

Just a bluff. It had to be.

"W-What are you talking about? Why would I do that?"

He smiled. "Your voice is shaky. You took a while to answer, and the look in your eyes... You're lying through your teeth, [F/N]-chan. I'm truly disappointed in you."

"Wait, no! I didn't even see anything that could be used as poison-"

Your stomach began to growl and claw at you from the inside out. Then, your head began to pound, as well as your heart at an uncomfortable pace.

"I'm not stupid."

Oikawa stood and emptied both of your plates into the trash. He blankly stared at the wasted food. "Did you notice how the arsenic bottle wasn't full? Of course you didn't. I'd already poured some of it into the rice bag and sealed it back up." He turned to look at you. "This is exactly what you deserve. I knew you would've tried something stupid again. But at the same time.. I was hoping you wouldn't."

He walked back towards you, placing a hand softly on your stomach as you sat there huddled up in pain. "Maybe this will teach you. And if it doesn't, I'll find something else to punish you with. You won't die from this, so just relax and let the pain take you someplace else."

"...Why me?" you managed to sputter out. Your throat burned like hell.

"I don't know what you mean." He smiled and began to message your shoulders as you stared at him, taking your mind someplace else, ignoring the pain.

"I don't get... why.. you chose... to do this.. to me..?"

His grip on your shoulders faltered. "Hm. Why did I choose you? Well... When I first saw you, your appearance gave me so much comfort and yet I still don't know why. And then I found out you were perfect."

"Did I.. remind you of someone..?"

Oikawa stayed silent for a moment, as if realizing something. "Maybe that's it... But I promise you, that I'll find the answer and give it to you. Well, if I decide that you deserve it by then. All I know is that my love for you is real, and so is the comfort you bring me."

You brought him comfort...?

You weren't sure what he meant. Not that you could think straight anymore with such a pounding headache and immense confusion induced by the poison.

He pulled your face back, and saw him staring down at you. "I think you should rest."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

He kissed you, holding gently onto both sides of your face. You didn't kiss back. He knew that you probably wouldn't have the energy, even if you wanted to, but it still hurt.

You were unconscious by the time he pulled away.

* * *

Iwaizumi wasn't exactly paying attention to the movie playing in front of him. Hanamaki had to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't doze off again. Matsukawa didn't last a second without taking a popcorn kernel from the bucket between his legs. No one helped him when he started complaining about a kernel stuck in his teeth.

Hanamaki caught Matsukawa who slumped over weakly. "Sit the fuck up and watch the movie."

"Uhuh, sure Mister," Matsukawa said groggily, rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times. He had pain written on his face, but Hanamaki ignored it.

Matsukawa sighed and leaned back on the couch. He was beating himself up almost every second of the day because he thought of himself as a spineless freak. 

Why didn't he tell his assigned police officer what you had told him? That night when your apartment burned down... when you told him that you were afraid of Oikawa.

That was such a revelation for him. It could change the course of the case entirely, in a direction he didn't want it to take at all.

The group just didn't feel complete without Oikawa.

Iwaizumi missed his stupid jokes and distractions. His presence in general filled a huge void in all of them.

The ace thought back to the police interview. Should he have said more? No. According to his conversation with the rest of the guys, he actually said way more than they did.

He mentioned the dog incident, how Oikawa was always self hating, and how he could've possibly been living in an abusive household.

The one thing he felt guilty yet proud for saying, however, was mentioning the bruises around your neck.

He retold the conversation word for word. How he had suspected Oikawa had done it, but you deflected it the suspected blame onto your parents instead.

The police then took into account that your household was most likely abusive, according to Iwaizumi. That changed some opinions within the police station.

He wasn't sure if they took his suspicion against Oikawa seriously. He was hoping they wouldn't... Actually, he didn't know what to think anymore.

Iwaizumi was pulled out of his thoughts when Matsukawa's obnoxious ringtone began to play.

Matsukawa almost tripped when he got up. The two other boys noticed he was sweating and holding his head. He excused himself to Hanamaki's room and picked up. "Hello?"

"Issei. Where are you?"

Matsukawa softened at the voice of his uncle. "Takahiro's place. Why? You're home already?"

"No. I called you to tell you that I can't make it tonight, actually."

"Huh? Why not? Is it because of your second job?" Matsukawa could hear a pen scribbling away.

Aimoto chuckled and laid his head on his chin. "Yeah. Man, is it taking a toll on me.. As if being a detective wasn't enough."

"Maybe you should take some days off then."

"No can do."

"You never told me what your second job is. It can't be that bad, right?"

The line went silent for a moment. "You still there?" Matsukawa said.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Well, you'd be surprised, Issei. And uh, it's a secret."

"So what you're telling me is that... you're a grown ass man keeping secrets."

"When I get home on Saturday, I'm gonna slap the shit out of you."

"I'm so scared," Matsukawa said sarcastically. "Wait a sec, Saturday? You're gonna be gone for two whole days?"

"Issei... when you're an adult, you'll understand the struggle of having two exhausting jobs."

"Exhausting, huh? Well, whatever. I'm not like you." He coughed.

"How have you been holding up? I would like comfort you in person, but.."

"Mm.. I'm surviving. Kind of.. I've been feeling so weird lately. I'm just kinda existing, not living, if that makes sense. I also have a god awful headache that won't go away.. my visions so blurry.. and I got ringing in my ears.."

“Woah, woah, are you alright?"

“Fuck, I dunno.. I feel like.."

Then, there's a hollow thud, and muffled worried pleads on the other side.

The two boys in the living room don't hear it over the blaring voices in the movie.

It took a while for them to go looking for Issei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m planning my NaNoWriMo project and I need another Haikyuu character to write for... how does Kuroo sound? Or is there someone else you like? ;)
> 
> Also, comments as always are super appreciated and thanks for reading this far!


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